- You are totally legal in America. Please be responsible and try and not be a douchebag all the time
- Treat us all too good food, you are the last one to turn 21, and it was kinda a pain to our plans all this while
- Stop being an ass hole (You know I still love you), and be nicer to people
- Your mood swings are way more weird than a girl on PMS. I think you should do something about those :P
- Start sleeping more. You look like a freaking zombie. God knows what you do staying up all night, although you say you study.
- Surprise us. Do something out of your league.
- And I think some other things.. I can't think of right now.
Feb 25, 2009
Happy Birthday Ali!!
Finally you are 21 today, so I think there are certain things I should tell you.. since you are an adult and all :P
Its all in the brain
People have emotions, and sometimes they find themselves sad, depressed, helpless, anxious and all those things. And then there are people who are in control, they probably do have these emotions, but they are very much in control. They don't really express, they don't feel the need to. They like to keep things inside, and they are HAPPY to be the way the are.
I am the former one, I feel too much. But some people (in fact one person, and he knows who he is if he is reading this), have taught me to be in control. I have learned to find happiness in any state of mind. I have learned to enjoy things for the way they are, and not find meanings to them. I know it is important to know what you are doing, and know where is it going. But sometimes may be, it just does not matter. Its all in the brain. You can make yourself believe anything, as long as you are determined. You just have to make your mind work on it. That's what I have learned.
There are some things I still can't do. I can't be completely unemotional, or completely not care about things, but I have learned to be fine. I think I can make mistakes, or do stupid things, or even things I never thought I would do, because I am young. I am just 21. I can experiment, as long as I am not killing myself or someone else. I just have to tell my brain not to care so much all the time.
Its time to not be myself. Its time to be someone I can be, or someone I think I would like to be. And yes I am trying that, and I think I am doing fine.
On a side note, the German adventure is fading away in my mind, its 2 months today since I came back, and life is getting too busy to reminisce. Sigh!
I am the former one, I feel too much. But some people (in fact one person, and he knows who he is if he is reading this), have taught me to be in control. I have learned to find happiness in any state of mind. I have learned to enjoy things for the way they are, and not find meanings to them. I know it is important to know what you are doing, and know where is it going. But sometimes may be, it just does not matter. Its all in the brain. You can make yourself believe anything, as long as you are determined. You just have to make your mind work on it. That's what I have learned.
There are some things I still can't do. I can't be completely unemotional, or completely not care about things, but I have learned to be fine. I think I can make mistakes, or do stupid things, or even things I never thought I would do, because I am young. I am just 21. I can experiment, as long as I am not killing myself or someone else. I just have to tell my brain not to care so much all the time.
Its time to not be myself. Its time to be someone I can be, or someone I think I would like to be. And yes I am trying that, and I think I am doing fine.
On a side note, the German adventure is fading away in my mind, its 2 months today since I came back, and life is getting too busy to reminisce. Sigh!
Feb 24, 2009
Feb 18, 2009
Where I am now!
Once a while I talk to friends back home. Whenever I do that, I realize how different I am from them, and these differences have just been widening with every passing year.
I spent all my school life with them, we ate the same kind of food, we sang the same songs, we believed in the same things, but all that is now, just a memory.
Three and a half years at Drexel has made me a different person. I am not one of them anymore. I don't understand their lingo, and I don't know the places they like to visit. This realization is very strange, since those people mean so much to me. I feel blessed to have such friends back home, who remember my birthday without the help of facebook, and call me no matter what.
But again, even though I miss seeing them, I do not want to go back there. I have a world of my own here, and I like it. There are people who understand me much better here, and they think like I do.
What I miss the most though is that clear view on certain things. Looking at certain things as black and white, and not appreciating the gray. I feel like people live a lot in the gray here, there is no right or wrong, there is 'whatever that makes your boat float'. That's good to an extent, but I miss the black and white, although I very much live in the gray myself.
I wish there was a way I could have my friends back home understand me more, and a way where I could make things more right or wrong rather than just accepting anything. I wish I could have the best of both worlds.
I spent all my school life with them, we ate the same kind of food, we sang the same songs, we believed in the same things, but all that is now, just a memory.
Three and a half years at Drexel has made me a different person. I am not one of them anymore. I don't understand their lingo, and I don't know the places they like to visit. This realization is very strange, since those people mean so much to me. I feel blessed to have such friends back home, who remember my birthday without the help of facebook, and call me no matter what.
But again, even though I miss seeing them, I do not want to go back there. I have a world of my own here, and I like it. There are people who understand me much better here, and they think like I do.
What I miss the most though is that clear view on certain things. Looking at certain things as black and white, and not appreciating the gray. I feel like people live a lot in the gray here, there is no right or wrong, there is 'whatever that makes your boat float'. That's good to an extent, but I miss the black and white, although I very much live in the gray myself.
I wish there was a way I could have my friends back home understand me more, and a way where I could make things more right or wrong rather than just accepting anything. I wish I could have the best of both worlds.
Feb 2, 2009
Karma, luck and fate
"What goes around, come back around"
How many times have all of us heard that. Justin Timberlake even managed a song on that, but really is that true. If you want to believe in it, then you would probably associate every good or bad thing with something that you did in the past. If you chose not to, then you would not ask questions like, "Why did this happen to me."
I am on the believing side. I believe in Karma, not necessarily for others but for myself at least. Whenever something bad happens, I cant help but go through my life, and recall every person I hurt to make sense of why the thing that happened, happened at all.
And then there are the good things. They happen sometimes too, and then I think people put it on the luck. Most of the people I know do believe in luck, because you do need to be at the right place at the right time, to get some things to work out for you.
Karma and luck are two sides of the same coin essentially, where a strong belief in the former, perhaps prevent me from doing bad things or hurting people, and the latter may be just asks me to hope.
They say god doesn't help you, if you don't help yourself. Luck does not ask you to help yourself, and just depending on it might actually make you unlucky. So may be what we need is a hardwork and a belief that you can be rewarded for it, even if on the basis of luck.
I have been unlucky a lot of times, but then I have been lucky with friends. Some god things have happened, some bad things have happened, but then I have always figured out why those bad things happened.
The only thing I am unsure about is fate. I don't know where will I be 2 years from now, I dont know whether I'll be loved the way I want to, I dont know whether I am destined to achieve, what I want to in life.
All I know is I am happy with the life, even if "shit happens", and all I hope for is to Karma not strike again, because so far I have paid my dues, and be a little more lucky, and for fate to take me there where I want to be.
How many times have all of us heard that. Justin Timberlake even managed a song on that, but really is that true. If you want to believe in it, then you would probably associate every good or bad thing with something that you did in the past. If you chose not to, then you would not ask questions like, "Why did this happen to me."
I am on the believing side. I believe in Karma, not necessarily for others but for myself at least. Whenever something bad happens, I cant help but go through my life, and recall every person I hurt to make sense of why the thing that happened, happened at all.
And then there are the good things. They happen sometimes too, and then I think people put it on the luck. Most of the people I know do believe in luck, because you do need to be at the right place at the right time, to get some things to work out for you.
Karma and luck are two sides of the same coin essentially, where a strong belief in the former, perhaps prevent me from doing bad things or hurting people, and the latter may be just asks me to hope.
They say god doesn't help you, if you don't help yourself. Luck does not ask you to help yourself, and just depending on it might actually make you unlucky. So may be what we need is a hardwork and a belief that you can be rewarded for it, even if on the basis of luck.
I have been unlucky a lot of times, but then I have been lucky with friends. Some god things have happened, some bad things have happened, but then I have always figured out why those bad things happened.
The only thing I am unsure about is fate. I don't know where will I be 2 years from now, I dont know whether I'll be loved the way I want to, I dont know whether I am destined to achieve, what I want to in life.
All I know is I am happy with the life, even if "shit happens", and all I hope for is to Karma not strike again, because so far I have paid my dues, and be a little more lucky, and for fate to take me there where I want to be.
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