Skipping tomorrow

While growing up, I always looked forward to my birthday. It used be the best day of my entire year. My friends and family always made it perfect for me. More than the presents, the wishes that I used to get made me happy.

Those were the times when people did not remember your birthday through facebook or email. They remembered it because you were important to them.

We Indians have a tradition of celebrating the birthday right at midnight. When the clock hits 12, that’s when it all starts. Phones start ringing and wishes start pouring. It is a happy tradition. The midnight used to be the best time of the day, when all my friends called. When all of them stayed up till late at times to call.

But all that was then, and this is now.

Now I hate my birthday. It is an instigator of bad memories and unwanted realizations. I have amazing friends, I still do, but I am just too scared of letting them do anything for me. I can’t define my feelings in words towards my notion against letting them celebrate it, but as I grow older, birthdays become something people have to attend to, not something they want to attend do, and I am very scared of being in the ‘have to’ category.

(Yes I know I am thinking too much. But I have too much time in my hands. Thinking is inevitable.)

All in all this birthday has nothing really to celebrate about it. I am getting older. I have extremely bad memories attached to this day (at least for now). I am broke. I want to spare the ‘have to’s, there a probably quite a few of those. And I want to be somewhere where no one knows me.

(Go on, think that I am losing it, may be I am, who knows)

So tomorrow when I go to sleep tonight, I want to skip tomorrow and wake up when the birthday ends.

(Is that even humanly possible?)