Do not even read this

So I have this "something is missing" feeling a lot these days. It is not suppose to be like that, but for some reason it is like that. I think I would like my blame my idiot BFF who decided to move half way across the globe, soon after which events took place which changed a lot around. 

NOT COOL!

I have friends but I am lazy, which means I would rather be in bed doing nothing, then making an effort of walking two blocks to see someone even if its 7 PM and I am back from work and I still have 4 hours before I start planning going to bed. So that in combination with my the closest friends not living around has turned me into a boring, not feeling at home person. 

(What am I even saying, someone needs to proof read this thing for me)

All I am trying to say is I think a year down the lane, I'd be ready to leave Philly and move to a different city. It was always about the people, and some how the people that made it what it is, are not here anymore. I miss those people but oh well, can't do no-thing about that.

(You know what I do at 8:30PM on a Monday night, plan on going to bed, LAME, very LAME, someone make me work out, I am getting fat... this is where I completely lost it)

Changing the topic entirely, I can't believe I am so feeling-less that I can't come up with a half decent expressive post. What is happening? I am thinking about work, and unfortunately can't write about that here, now can I..

Now I am just rambling, my worst ever I swear. 

Anyhoo, at least I cook more and clean more. (Not that it even matters). I am getting all homely.

Wonder where the college girl in me went??

I am alive :D

It truly sucks how much your life gets affected by 50-60 hours of work weeks. 


Don't get me wrong, I love working. I am not complaining about the long work hours. I guess I am disappointed that I don't get to blog as much anymore. When work is your priority and on your mind even after you are not at work, it's hard to sit down and come up with some coherent thoughts that can be jotted down here.


Also, I am growing up, so my pain and misery or my love and life won't come up here in a over the top, overly expressive fashion (Makes sense?)


What I am trying to say is, I am not the girl who can't keep a heart break to herself and has to write about the pain here anymore. I know I have done that for way too long, but somehow I wish I hadn't. I think it wasn't perceived the right way, I guess all I really wanted was to rant to strangers in this form without realizing how needy it sounds sometimes.


Again, I am not saying expressing here is wrong, all I am saying is I wish I had some control over my pouring emotions here. But then again, may be that's what growing up is, learning to be sane in situations which can leave you incapable of maintaining any ounce of self control and rationality. So yeah, I am growing up.


Now I know how it must have been to read me crying (in some sort of way) on my blog for so long. Honestly, it was genuine, I was upset, but may be I could have worded it better without revealing the importance of few un named people in my life.


I say all this now because new people come in our lives, we move on, we make a better life, eventually we are always glad that what happened did happen, but what we wrote on the internet always stays. It is a reminder of how uncontrollably needy you sounded in some way giving importance to something/someone that truly did not deserve the extra attention. 


(OMG, I will achieve sainthood soon)


So yeah, the original point was, work is crazy and I am growing up which leaves me sort of weary of what I say sometimes. I want to blog, but I don't want to cry. (Though I think I haven't done that in a while, and there is nothing to cry about actually)


As usual, I refused to process what I am writing and I summed up quite a few points here, so if you are a reader of this blog, you get the drift :D


On a side note: This winter is driving me nuts. Seriously nuts. I need spring, sun, clean sidewalks, cleaner roads, not slipping and falling, and wearing cooler shoes and not the boring snow boots.


FYI -- The cricket world cup is around the world cup and I am making a schedule to plan my sleep around it :D:D


P.S: I am getting fat in the winter..sigh