The art of not going with the flow of emotions is not something that I have ever been able to practice. I usually follow my heart, chose to be blind, hope, and just wait for things to get better (as much as I despise the wait).
When I was younger I did not know how to analyze situations as well. I took things on the face value. I believed people won’t hurt me. I believed that I will get something if I really really wanted it. I believed what was being told to me was always the truth. I did not know how some moments can make you do things that you don’t want in the first place. I did not know that when people say things, they think they believe, but so many time they are just scared of a change.
Obviously I am older now. Not much older, but enough to know that people do things, say things, that seem right in the moment. They end up hurting people not because they wanted to, but because they were scared of doing the right thing, because they themselves never realized how to do it till too late.
Seldom are people bad. It’s just that there are very few who know what do when the moment has passed. How to fix things. How to deal with someone else’s emotions. Because after all, we are human. And to err is human.
(BTW that does not mean no one is bad, some people are just bad outright)
All that being said, I want to say I am glad I know all this. Obviously, I wish I could believe that there are exceptions to these situations and I may across them. But personally, I have not seen people doing otherwise with me. They have done the same thing. Said things in the moment. But all that never makes me think they meant to hurt me anymore. I just think its human.
And best of all, I have learned to back off. Back off from situations where I know my emotions may over ride my sensibility. And I don’t think I could have done it one year ago. I wish I believed in exceptions more, but may be it’s just too early right now.
It always feels good when you know that you won’t get hurt by friends or anyone else. It’s good to know that people make mistakes, just learn to cut slack or stop expecting them do the right thing.
It’s good to know that I can fix some things for myself before I get trapped in the moments or even worse… emotions.
