How I love my mother

I have never told this to my mom and its not even mothers day but I somehow feel I need to write about this.

I love her (I know everyone loves theirs) and I don’t think I can be half as good a mom as she is. I can’t be that selfless. I cant be that understanding and I just cant be that unconditional.

I was one hell of a teenager. As soon as I turned 13 adolescence did wonders to me. I was a rebel at best. Now that I look back all I can say is. “What the hell was I thinking.” And my mom doesn’t think that. When I ask her how she managed to deal with me, she says, “You weren’t that bad.” And I can’t believe that. I was not good at all but she can’t find faults apparently.

She sent me away to study even though she knew she’ll be left with no one to talk with. I was her best friend and a way to enjoy. We went to movies together, shopped, just went on walks. She knew she would have no one to do that with once I go away, she still sent me. Because I wanted it. I don’t think I can ever do that with my kid. Never ever can I.

When I call her now and tell her all that I do, she doesn’t relate to it. It’s all out of her culture and tradition. But she understands because she believes if I am doing it, it can’t be that wrong. She never gets mad at me because I am away and she doesn’t want me to get upset. She lets me do anything as long as she can know I am fine.

And when I want to get away from here, I just fly home and cry to her. She doesn’t ask any questions. Doesn’t drill me. She listens and let me put my head in her lap and cry.

I mean how can she be so strong? So giving? It is very much beyond me. I don’t know if all the moms are like that but mine is one hell of a kind. She is the most innocent yet strongest woman I know. All she cares about is whether I am fine. She has no dreams, no passion of her own. Its all her kids.

I really want her to get mad at me sometimes so that I can feel that she is normal and not extraordinary. But she has never done that. She solves my problems even without knowing them. Her innocence makes me cry. Her love makes me believe.

I love you mom. I wish I can give you everything you wish for. Everything you want in life. And never ever do something that makes you sad.