When you close your eyes

Every once in a while you want to just stop whatever you are doing and think for a while. You need to close your eyes and just take a deep breath and gather those thoughts. Just go back in time a little. Just breathe.

The world moves too fast for an average person. Before you know it the childhood is over. It’s time to be mature and responsible. And you run looking for happiness, run to make a living, run to keep up with the world.

But then in all this craze there are those moments when you close your eyes and reach a different place. Your happy place. The place, the person that made you happy or makes you happy. So many thoughts. So many things to do. But just close you eyes. And stay still.

There is this song I listen to every now and then. It instantly works on me. It has a sad tone to it, but it takes me back to some happy days. It just works. I close my eyes and I see everything. Every moment. It just works.

The song just means that without those moments everything seems to have a lesser impact. The rains seems drier. The light seems dimmer. The breeze is not that breezy. And there are just not that many wishes anymore.

So some memories still stay. They still work. They still make me happy.

Gossip Column

I have never seen Gossip Girl but so many people have told me that my blog reminds them of that. I don’t know why or how, but that’s what I have heard. I write like Carrie (Sarah Jessica Parker) did in  Sex and the City, or someone does in Gossip Girl, but I never even realized that.

I was never inspired by either of those to write the way I write, though I know I loved the way Carrie wrote in Sex and the City. Some call it very “girly,” but that is what I am. So if I write like that, then I guess so be it.

I am big chick flick fan, I love watching drama (I do not like it in my very own life), I love seeing unrealistic love stories, I love every sentence they say in Grey’s Anatomy or Ugly Betty or One Tree Hill. It somehow makes sense to me (ok.. not every time), and someway along the line may be I do get inspired to write the way I write (although I never even realized I was getting inspired).

Some people laugh, and call my blog a gossip column. Some think, I make sense. Some think, it’s a piece of crap, but then I can’t please all… Can I?

I don’t write for anyone. I write for myself. I don’t sell this. I believe in it. As time progresses, I may experience some of what I have written, most of it is situational. I don’t ask anyone to believe in it because honestly I am 22 years old, I have not seen everything in the world, I just have learned from whatever little I have seen, heard, experienced.

Love me, hate me, envy me, dislike me or just like me. This is what it is. It was not meant to be a typical gossip column, but if it is and you think it is what Carrie said in Sex and the city, then that’s a compliment.

Once again I am no writer, I am just a blogger.

(And in know what this is angry post, I don’t get angry on my blog, I am just stating a point :) )

Waiting

“Wait” in itself is a concept. There is so much invested in it. There is so much people would do to not wait for anything.

We are so used to waiting for everything in out life. We are asked to be patient and wait. Wait for those exam results on which our college admission depends, wait for that summer when we have an amazing vacation planned, or even wait for that bus that is always late and makes us reach work late.

We have waited at every step. We know we’ll reach where we want to, all we have to do is wait. It is a virtue.

Then there is a wait that may never end. You wait, and you don’t even know you are waiting. You don’t question anything or anyone. You just wait. You know it probably will never end, or one day you’ll just stop waiting but still, you wait.

And when you wait like that there is so much at stake. Yet you don’t see it. It comes so naturally to you. This wait. This patience. No expectations. No rules. Nothing. Just wait.

So if you chose to wait the next time, or whenever you realize that you are waiting, stop, think for a while, and see what are you losing…just know may be right now is the time to stop waiting

It really does work out

I have a feeling that eventually, it really does work out. No matter what you wanted, how life is going, how much things are becoming impossible, in the end (whenever that is), it all makes sense.

Over the past few years, I have realized I can cry about anything and everything, but sooner or later I become content, and even better; happy with it.

There was a time when I was overly upset about not getting into the school of my choice, and came to Drexel. And now I am so glad that happened. I will not change that experience for anything. Ask me if I would rather attend a different school, I will say, “Hell!!! No!!!".”

Then there was a time I was upset about not being able to have the best room mate in my freshmen year and literally thought my freshmen year was going ridiculous. Ask me now I will say, “Nothing beats the fun I had in freshmen year.”

And there are so many more things I was upset about. Like that boy who never liked me back, like that job I did not get, like that event I missed. But honestly it all worked out. I am not a major optimist, but somehow I know it all does work out.

(No, I am not saying mess up and then say.. ehhhh.. it will work out)

And yes may be I am being very wise these days passing on my wisdom, but all this is just what I always believed in, and I think may be everyone should.

P.S: Life rocks, no matter what happens :)

Make a wish

When we are growing up, we are asked to make wishes. When we see a star, we make a wish, when we see a fountain, we throw a coin and we make a wish, when we stand in front of god in a temple, church or mosque, we make a wish.

We grow up and somewhere in the whole process we forget to do that. We stop wishing with heart, because we are asked to work towards achieving everything. Things don’t happen with wishes then, they happen when you work for them.

What if you can’t work for them? What if it is not about hard work, but it is about what you truly want. I say then, just make a wish. Be a kid again. Look up in the sky, and ask for that one thing you really want. You never know, may be that day God is listening.

Make a wish with all your heart, because wishes do come true. In the fight for life, we forget all the small things that made us what we are. We forget to appreciate the stars and the moon. We forget that they got us our first bike, first dress or even first date.

Believe in them, and just a make a wish. Who knows may be one day it comes true.

New design.. new thoughts

I consider myself an official blogger now.

Not because I have been writing since more than a year, but because I still feel like doing it every now and then. (More like everyday)

So here is to a new name, new design, even a new url.

My life is now GIRL TALK.

Because more or less, that is what it has been.

The unhelpful comparison

You go through good relationships. You go through bad relationships. Some end mutually. Some end with you being hurt. Some end with the other person being hurt. Sometimes you don’t want it to be over. Sometime you know its over even before it over.

In all the above cases if there was love involved and you spent a good amount of time with the person, you are pretty much scarred for a while. In a way you did not even see coming.

You try to move on, and when you do you go from one person to other trying to feel something for them. But sigh, does not happen. There is always this one thing you can complain about.

And that my friend is the ‘comparison’ syndrome. You compare everything with you had and you loved. You want him to use the same sense of humor, you want him to be equally expressive (high or low), you want him to understand you as much, you want him to be just like what you had, and the worst part of it all, you didn’t even know it.

And this new person gets trapped in your comparison issues. You can never replace what you had with someone when it was true, you can never find the same qualities, because you are here to build new relationships and meet new personalities. And some feelings are just not replaceable.

But then this syndrome, this unhelpful comparison is so instilled that you just can’t help it. And you look and look and look some more till those memories fade away. And sometimes that does not happen too fast, time takes too much time.