Why not me?

That’s the question most people asked themselves after being in unreciprocated situations or unwanted break ups or just being hopelessly in love.

I have always heard that after you get hurt, you stop believing in the power of love. The question remains unanswered, because there is no answer, but you still wonder till it doesn’t matter anymore.

You can just accept, “It was not meant to be” instead of, “I am not good enough",” and lead a happy life henceforth. Or just spend it fixing something in your self which probably doesn’t need any fixing.

I was very nicely told by an old friend that I am too picky. I think too much before getting into anything with anyone and so that combined with my comparison issues doesn’t make it any easy for me. Unfortunately, he makes sense. Sigh!

My head knows why it was not me? But my heart with a little bit of ego will wonder for a while till it completely and absolutely doesn’t matter. It is a strange place to be in, I know it all, and yet I like to believe the otherwise.

For some reason, these are the only words I can think of right now…

And on the 23rd night

things aint bad, but things aint right

are we falling or flying

are we falling or flying

are we living or dying

I guess we’ll never know!

The Magic moment

I just came across the most amazing blog piece I have ever read. It’s called the magic moment, and it is from, “By the river Piedra I sat down and wept.”

Just read it, and you’ll know why.

We have to take risks. We can only truly understand the miracle of life when we let the unexpected manifest itself.
Every day – together with the sun – God gives us a moment in which it is possible to change everything that makes us unhappy. Every day we try to pretend that we don’t realize that moment, that it doesn’t exist, that today is just the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow. But if you pay attention, you can discover the magic instant.
It may be hiding at the moment when we put the key in the door in the morning, in the silence right after dinner, in the thousand and one things that all seem the same to us. This moment exists – a moment when all the strength of the stars passes through us and lets us work miracles.
Happiness is at times a blessing – but usually it’s a conquest. The magic instant helps us to change, drives us forward to seek our dreams. We shall suffer and go through quite a few difficult moments and face many a disappointment – but this is all transitory and inevitable, and eventually we shall feel proud of the marks left behind by the obstacles. In the future we will be able to look back with pride and faith.
Poor are those who are afraid of running risks. Because maybe they are never disappointed, never disillusioned, never suffer like those who have a dream to pursue. But when they look back – for we always look back – they will hear their heart saying: “What did you do with the miracles that God sowed for your days? What did you do with the talent that your Master entrusted to you? You buried it deep in a grave because you were afraid to lose it. So this is your inheritance: the certainty that you have wasted your life.”
Poor are those who hear these words. For then they will believe in miracles, but the magic instants of life will have already passed.

Taken from Paulo Coelho’s blog

Cold waves

I am not really planning to write too much just because this is via my cellphone, but I need to write and just express my frustration wit the Arctic wave (I think that's what it is called).

So first there was recession and now its the brain killing cold. Last year people were talking about unemployment and now about the cold. These 2 are not related in any way but the kind of news they are making is similar.

It is amazing how advance we call our generations and these things still are so out of our control. We suffer without a job, we suffer in the cold. And the so called 21st century magic doesn't fix these things.

(Ok i am drifting away from the topic)

The point i was trying to make is, its just so cold. Just walking a block makes me wonder why could technology not give me a portable heater to carry with me all the time. There is no escape. Every part of the world is complaining. Is this really what global warming is? Or the weather gurus are still figuring out what really is wrong. May be after these two eventful years, 2012 will actually lead to a doomsday. Everything seems possible and so that is possible too.

(I'll miss out on so much if that happens... sigh)

All in all no matter how powerful the man kind becomes, nothing can be prevented.

And you know what's really weird. I am sitting with 7 more people in naked chocolate cafe and I can still think so much. Brain freeze. I can't hear them talking. Cold to be blamed...

P.S: this has been typed on my phone so I will have typos and spelling errors. Just putting it out there !

Right or Wrong?

Obviously I don’t know all the time what’s right and what’s wrong? I try to figure it out, but sometimes it is just very hard to figure it out. So many opinions, so many view points, so much of everything. How do you even know what’s the right thing all the time?

I guess you just don’t.

But then can we do something that we think will make things easier for us? Whatever the situation is? Whoever gets hurt? Just do what makes us happy?

I know the fact that some people are getting hurt by it is wrong on its own, but then we gotta be selfish sometimes. People probably have been selfish with us at some point in time, and so, we can probably do the same…

Right?

I am not so sure… sigh

Even if being selfish is making you think that something , somewhere is wrong then you are not as happy after all. I believe so much in Karma that doing wrong things just makes me justify the wrong done to me, and I don’t want no wrong anymore…

Basically sometimes you just don’t know what to do. And you still have to do something, and since my heart works more than the brain, I will think a lot about either decision I make.

Am I making sense? A little bit? May be?

I don’t know. This is like talking out loud to me. I don’t make sense to most people on normal days in any case.

Anyhoooo….

Time for class!

Sex and the City

How many of you people (ok girls) out there have watched the show religiously. Wanted to have a shoe collection like Carrie’s or be as charming as Samantha or be as pretty as Charlotte (I find her very pretty) or be as lucky as Miranda. I am thinking a good 90%.

(No I don’t have any stats, just pure girl assumption)

So anyhoo….

Sex and the city is this personified version of what kind of life a city girl wants to lead. They want it all. Shows, clothes, boy friends, everything. I was always so fascinated by it that as I teenager I thought everyone in a big city is like that (ok ok.. just NYC).

That is not very true to me now, but for some reason, I do aspire for that. Not the many boy friends part, one would do, but the other parts. Being successful and having it all, and having those close girl friends who stick by no matter what, is what I want.

I know television is messing with women brains, but why not????

If I can actually achieve that I am sure my shoe closet is going to be bigger than Carrie’s …. sigh (I love shoes).

All in all I can’t wait for the second movie. Watching it on screen again. The trailer does look promising…

Lets here it for New York – Alicia Keys

Do I brag?

I was going over some posts that I wrote and suddenly it dawned on me that sometimes I probably come across as someone who praises herself, even if its not in your face praising.

Very honestly (like seriously), I don't really do it intentionally. I try and say things the way they exactly seem to me and I guess that a lot of times that ends up making me sound super pompous.

But just to put it out there, I do not BRAG. About anything that is. And if sometimes I come across as someone who does, please let me know. Leave a cpmment... even if anonymous. Say I am being lame. I mean I will get itsy bitsy hurt but Wth.... a girl's gotta do what she gotta do to make it right

Anyho....

Classes have begun. Emails are pouring in. Texting is on. Job hunt is super on. Life my friends is GOOD.

Finally Summing up Fall 2009

Summer was unbelievably amazing. I have already established that very very very nicely. It was hard for Fall to beat it, given that I did not enjoy the same benefits as Summer.

• I did not have a full time job, hence way less money
• I was in classes, hence way more work
• The weather was not as awesome
• And few other random reasons

But no complaints. Life was good never the less.

September 2009

Started extremely slowly. The first two weeks were very boring in general. Some of my friends were leaving for vacation since school was off. I did not do as much socializing as I usually did before that. Coop was coming to an end, and I was not looking forward to that. I enjoyed every bit of that, and it was hard to put an end to my six month long internship.

Some of my friends were coming back from vacation. Seeing them made me extremely happy.

18th September was my last day of work. My co workers threw the most incredible farewell for me. Bought me gifts, cards and what not. I felt like I achieved something, made some good relationships when I left. So far the best experience ever.

I went to Portland the next day to visit my friend. Spent 5 days in Portland and a day in Seattle. Reconnected with my friend who I hardly see. I had an amazing time there. I was missing week one of classes, but that vacation was beautiful. Portland is so beautiful, I can’t believe it is not as popular on tourist lists.

I came back on the 26th and was bombarded with school work. I actually wanted to stay in Portland for a bit longer. I swear Who knew Portland is Paradise.

October 2009

I went to Tuscan, AZ for a conference with my organization. Hmmm… what can I say about that place. A very small city with cacti everywhere. It is so different from anything that I have seen that I really did not know what people could do there.

I did not see much of the city, but the experience was amazing. 8 of us girls from Drexel had loads of fun and met loads of women in technical fields. The weather was perfect. The resorts were extremely lavish, and all of it for free :)

I came back on the 4th of October after a 3 day trip and then the regular busy season with classes and work. Met a few more people, made more friends. Time flew by. It just raced against itself.

I celebrated one of my very good friends birthday.  She is one hell of a kind girl, and she deserved it. Her face when a bunch of us showed up at her door steps was PRICELESS.

November 2009

The time when my excitement levels came down after some months and I started wondering why things that happened even happened. I missed old friends, I missed Germany and I missed a lot of things in general. It started getting colder and so obviously more time inside and more thinking.

Overall a very uneventful November but happy never the less.

December 2009

The month of birthday and only birthdays. All of my close friends for some reason decided to be born in the same month and near the finals week and make sure I lose it.

I was a part of too many cakes and surprised looks and that made me happy.

For my best friend’s birthday I was ordered to go to Vegas, and man I loved it. It was just beyond my imagination. Vegas is truly a place to be at. 3 days in Vegas style, what else can a girl ask for.

The last 2 weeks were drastically boring. I am not a vacation person. I cant sit idle and boredom got the better of me. I couldn’t wait for January, and now that January is here, I am ecstatic.

Overall, Fall was just normal which actually is pretty darn different from the entire year :)