LIFE

It's been almost 6 years since I moved to the States, and boy have I learned about life.

When you are 18, you think you will never change. You don't even know what's in front of you and how as you grow up life will happen, and you will feel/think differently. Then one day, you realize, nothing is constant, if there is something constant, it's the change, which creeps in so slowly sometimes that you feel like your entire life just became someone else's.

And then one more day you are 24, thinking what's the point of living so far away from your family, who by the way, are the only people in this world, who will give a rat's ass about you.

And while you think all that you know there is nothing you can change on your own, because life my friend kicks some butt and works in it's own way. You can plan however much you want, but life takes your calendar from underneath your feet and you just keep on wondering what the hell happened. Life, wins all the time.

And then one day, when may be you are 30, you'll look back and laugh at why were you so chaotic at 24, because after all, you did make it to 30 fine, and life got you there.

Why the randomness you ask….

Sometimes people ask me what’s the point of blogging, and moreover what’s the point of blogging about extremely random and vague topics.

Well my answer is, there is no point and that’s why I do it. So many times there are things I say or write about that people I know do not share an interest in, and that’s when blogging comes in. I would be lying if I say I don’t want followers, I do, everyone likes there public blog being read, but I never make my friends read it, unless it’s something like ‘Cricket’ or a movie I am talking about.

Also no matter what I do, how I behave, what I want, at the end of the day, I am a girl, who has a lot to say about love, life, relationships and other random interesting things who lives in reality but dreams about fairy tales. Nothing wrong in that I assume.

So all in all if you ever happen to stop by and read one of my posts and wonder why am I writing what I am writing, then honestly I don’t know. I write in the moment, I have no theme, it’s an open diary, only I don’t reveal secrets, mostly because I hardly have any, and I don’t reveal people, because they are entitled to their privacy. That is about it.

On the note of being random, here is a song to listen to.

(Just cuz I have the whole 80’s thing going on)

 

Why not me?

That’s the question most people asked themselves after being in unreciprocated situations or unwanted break ups or just being hopelessly in love.

I have always heard that after you get hurt, you stop believing in the power of love. The question remains unanswered, because there is no answer, but you still wonder till it doesn’t matter anymore.

You can just accept, “It was not meant to be” instead of, “I am not good enough",” and lead a happy life henceforth. Or just spend it fixing something in your self which probably doesn’t need any fixing.

I was very nicely told by an old friend that I am too picky. I think too much before getting into anything with anyone and so that combined with my comparison issues doesn’t make it any easy for me. Unfortunately, he makes sense. Sigh!

My head knows why it was not me? But my heart with a little bit of ego will wonder for a while till it completely and absolutely doesn’t matter. It is a strange place to be in, I know it all, and yet I like to believe the otherwise.

For some reason, these are the only words I can think of right now…

And on the 23rd night

things aint bad, but things aint right

are we falling or flying

are we falling or flying

are we living or dying

I guess we’ll never know!

Winter

I have never been a big fan of winters. I don’t like the snow much, I don’t like to be under the blanket every time, I hate piling up layers before going out and above all I hate the super short days.

I get three weeks off as winter break and they become the most unproductive 3 weeks of my year. I don’t see a motivation to get out of my house, hence I sleep in till sunset and stay up till almost sunrise. I just stay in bed and sleep and eat. I don’t like being lazy but the cold just doesn’t help.

(No wonder summers are amazing)

I wish there was a way I knew how to be a little more active in winter. On top of the cold, there is the holiday season in winter which makes one eat like crazy.

How do people ever not be lazy or gain weight during this time. Beyond me. I have not figured that one out yet, and i doubt its happening anytime soon.

Philadelphia just had one of its worst snow storms ever last week. Everything came to a stand still. No cars,. No busses. Just snow and more snow on the ground and in the air.

How is that pretty? How do you function in such conditions? How do you manage to like winter in such situations?

And living on the east coast means  winter becomes the longest season of the year. It just never ends… SIGH

(I swear if I didn’t like it here so much I would have moved to the west)

All in all I wish winters did not make me so unproductive. All I do is gain weight and see the scale go up.

Dislike!

What’s wrong in being Single

If a girl wants to be single for a while (by which I mean 2-3 years), what is wrong in that? Most of my guy friends keep on saying, “You need to date someone. Just be with someone. You have been single for too long.”

I don’t understand why I need to do that? I chose to be myself, and I actually love it. At least for now I do. I never stop myself from meeting new guys, or talking to them, but if I dont get attracted to anyone enough to get in a relationship with them, that is not my fault.

He: What’s wrong with that guy? He likes you

Me: But I dont

He: Why? Try dating him

Me: But I dont feel anything for him

He: TRY!!!

Me: Try and do what? Why the hell should I lead someone on

He: Girls!!!

It’s not about being a girl. It is just about choosing to be happy. And not to sound sad or anything, but after what I have seen some guys are capable of, or just being in love and getting hurt to the point which I did not even know existed, i don't really believe in love.

(I mean there is love, just not for me)

So when I do not believe in something, it is hard to pursue it. May be that will change (even though I do not want it to EVER), but for now I am singe and loving it :)

Blame bollywood

Bollywood movies are one of a kind. The trend is certainly changing, but the whole happy ending notion that has existed for a century totally messes up people.

I am sure there are happy endings in people's life, but dude.. does not happen often. I mean I love bollywood, not just because of the unreal stuff you see there, but also because I feel so much closer to my roots. My childhood, the streets I ran through, the places I hung out at, memories of all those things come rushing back.

But but but... this overly simplified love stories need to have a disclaimer man. Something like "What we are showing never ever happens in real life." Its like Disney, who grill in us as kids, that every girl has a prince. I wish they told us instead, every prince and princess is flawed.

I have not seen simple love stories, at least not among my peers. Either the boy is overly possessive or does not care as much or the girl is too emotional or does not respond to anything. And obviously in any case, the second person does not fight for what they call love. They move on, they break up, they find someone else.

I wish bollywood showed more of that, instead of the boy being drunk out his senses because the love of his life left him. Does not work that way. Does not work that way at all.

And there are movies where the girl knows the god will let her know when she sees the love of her life, he will send her signals, and then she'll live happily ever after. The producers definitely forgot the account the fact whether the boy will love her back. I mean its fine she loves him, what if he does not? In real life, people go through no reciprocation with love all the time, but apparently in bollywood, you get love all the time. What crap.

Oh well, I will still love bollywood no matter what. At least there is some place, which hooks you on to unreal but definitely worth making real stuff.