In memory of my uncle

We all always talk about ‘heartbreak’ and how much it hurts. I personally vent so much here, ranting about anything and everything that bothers or excites me, but I never thought of a time when I’ll have to face something more painful and not be able to vent about it.

You can deal with everything, reason everything, blame people for your misery, hope for them to change, and believe in all sort of things, but how do you deal with death?

I live so far away from home that I miss all the happy and sad parts of the ones in my family. Like the time my cousins got married, or when my sister graduated high school, or my cousin had a baby, or my aunt faced problems and this time when I lost my uncle, without even getting a chance to say goodbye.

I don’t know how to deal with him not being there. He was my father’s older brother, practically a father to me, calling me every chance he got to remind me how I am missed at every festival and celebration. He kept his family of 8 siblings together, kept in touch with everyone, was there for everyone. And I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.

He wanted to give me away on my wedding. He was my father’s best friend and an inspiration to everyone in the family. He cried when I left to come here asking me to come back soon. He was 63. And now he is gone. And I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.

I miss him.

I wish I was home.

I wish I could fix things.

I wish I had a chance to say goodbye.