The year that was...2010

The year is coming to an end, and unlike last year I don't know if I can summarize 2010 as well as I summarized 2009.

2010 was a year where I think I discovered new things about myself or I guess I finally grew up. I learned to control my emotions, and many a times, I didn't feel any emotions.

I finished school, I spent 3 months doing absolutely nothing and sleeping 12 hours a day, I started working and traveling (still doing that), living off a suitcase, and towards the end of it I started saying good-byes. There is this weird feeling associated with growing up that came in 2010. There is this sense of nostalgia that came with 2010.  And most of all there is the "learning to be alone" syndrome that came with 2010.

In 2010 came the realization that it's hard to make those deep friendships after a certain point in your life. I realized how friends that I made in freshman year still know me best, still read me best and still are closest to my heart. I realize no many how many more people I meet, I hang out with, become friends with, at the end of the day those are the people I want to see in my life forever.

In 2010 came the realization that those people won't stay with me forever. They are leaving, finding their own lives, and saying good-bye is becoming harder every day. 

I don't miss the home works, or the early morning classes, I love working. But I miss those relationships, those people, those friends, some of whom have drifted away but still never leave my mind.

In 2010 came a lot of changes, just one thing didn't change, which should have changed. Still wondering how much more time...

So in 2011 this is what I want to do:

• I don't want to write a 'One Year Later' post again. 
• I want to go home and see my parents I want to prove distance doesn't hurt friendships
•  I want to be alone but not lonely 
• I want to be as happy as I am at work I want to feel some emotions. I think I lost too many 

I don't have any resolutions. I am just hoping for time to do its tricks as usual.

Growing up some more

It feels weird when the realization of being out in the world and making it on your own sinks in a little more on a daily basis.

I am so used to being surrounded by friends all the time that now when they have started leaving the city and move to places they have to be in or want to be in, my whole world is changing.

It's a weird feeling. It's like the first time you realize that there won't be any random get togethers and spontaneous night outs, because everyone now lives in some different part of the world. It's a sudden throw towards growing up and having to make choices around your career and friends.

Philly is home, but it's home because all my friends make it so, they have made it so. A month down the lane, half of them will be gone. I wonder whether Philly would still feel like home?

I need more time to adjust to this. This is all happening way to fast and it seems like I am whining too much about it, given this is how it works with almost everyone. Sigh!

I just wish it was not always about adjusting and getting used to changes, may be sometimes, somethings should be exceptions, where you don't have to adjust, because you don't want to adjust.