I know I have people who love me. I know they will be there. And I guess they will be there when I need them. But I don't know why its not enough. It just isn’t.
I am blessed to have friends like that. I truly am. These people give me happiness, they give me the support I need. But its just not enough.
When I am drunk, people call me to make sure I am fine. They come pick me up. They come put me to bed. They call me and wake me up for my morning event. But its not enough.
I wonder whether that’s me being insensitive or overly demanding or just DAMAGED.
Sigh! It sucks to not be able to feel anything for anyone. Feel no attachments. I am happy. But I am not there yet. Not just yet. I wonder how long?
I said before. Time takes its time. Its the only thing that matters. And its taking some time. 6 months and still going. Damaged is the term I use now.
To all those people who care so much more than I deserve. Thank you. Thank you so much. But I am sorry guys. Part and parcel of me is not being overly expressive. Just the way I am now.
One day. Some day. I will be expressive. At least I hope so.
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