It's been a while, truly been some while.
I can give the perfect, life is crazy excuse and trust me it is sort of legit too, but I think apart from that it's also I don't know if everything that goes on in my head is something that I can pen down.
I know I have spoken about quarter life crisis, but since I am living it to the best of my abilities right now, there is much more to talk about when it comes to explaining how it defines me.
I am almost 24 years old (well almost, one more month), and I sometimes I feel so lost and and so burdened that I don't even remember being young(er) or carefree. I don't run from responsibilities, I love being responsible, I always have. It gives me a sense of being wanted, needed and important (selfish, I know) but right now I think I just want to be stupid, dumb and not care about anything.
I want to run to Rome for a year without worrying about how will I pay my bills. I want to take three days off from work randomly without worrying about how will the things I left behind at work will get finished. I want to go join some dance classes and become a pro at that without worrying about how the hell will I fit that in my schedule.
Then again, all these wants are coming from this temparary chaos that so called life is right now. There is no stability or sense of belonging. All there is, a void, which has been created with all the transitioning from college to work and growing up while leaving friendships behind in some way or the other...
(Yes I know, as usual I am just blabbing, but that's what I do)
I have a plan, but then again I have no strategy to execute it. I hate being 24 because of all the expectations that come from my extended family about getting married and settling down. I want to be 30 and still feel like 21, I want to be in love may be, but I don't want a husband, I want to be a Partner but I don't want to be a crazy workaholic.
(See how I just contradicted myself in one blog, yeah that's how messed up I am in my head)
Anyways..I want, and I want to live without missing any of anything.
On another note, I think I should definitely blog more. This is such an insult to my old habit of ranting. I think that always made me feel better. Hopefully, this time, I wont disappear for months.
And whoever is reading this...thanks for reading along. At least someone is listening/reading.
Overall, very randomly, just stressing on the fact that I love Shahrukh. I just do. (Super Random, I know)
P.S: I am in India right now, leaving to go back to Philly in less that 12 hours and some how I am not excited to go back to Philly. Sigh. Life I tell you.
I can give the perfect, life is crazy excuse and trust me it is sort of legit too, but I think apart from that it's also I don't know if everything that goes on in my head is something that I can pen down.
I know I have spoken about quarter life crisis, but since I am living it to the best of my abilities right now, there is much more to talk about when it comes to explaining how it defines me.
I am almost 24 years old (well almost, one more month), and I sometimes I feel so lost and and so burdened that I don't even remember being young(er) or carefree. I don't run from responsibilities, I love being responsible, I always have. It gives me a sense of being wanted, needed and important (selfish, I know) but right now I think I just want to be stupid, dumb and not care about anything.
I want to run to Rome for a year without worrying about how will I pay my bills. I want to take three days off from work randomly without worrying about how will the things I left behind at work will get finished. I want to go join some dance classes and become a pro at that without worrying about how the hell will I fit that in my schedule.
Then again, all these wants are coming from this temparary chaos that so called life is right now. There is no stability or sense of belonging. All there is, a void, which has been created with all the transitioning from college to work and growing up while leaving friendships behind in some way or the other...
(Yes I know, as usual I am just blabbing, but that's what I do)
I have a plan, but then again I have no strategy to execute it. I hate being 24 because of all the expectations that come from my extended family about getting married and settling down. I want to be 30 and still feel like 21, I want to be in love may be, but I don't want a husband, I want to be a Partner but I don't want to be a crazy workaholic.
(See how I just contradicted myself in one blog, yeah that's how messed up I am in my head)
Anyways..I want, and I want to live without missing any of anything.
On another note, I think I should definitely blog more. This is such an insult to my old habit of ranting. I think that always made me feel better. Hopefully, this time, I wont disappear for months.
And whoever is reading this...thanks for reading along. At least someone is listening/reading.
Overall, very randomly, just stressing on the fact that I love Shahrukh. I just do. (Super Random, I know)
P.S: I am in India right now, leaving to go back to Philly in less that 12 hours and some how I am not excited to go back to Philly. Sigh. Life I tell you.
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