Last 29 days

Sorry for the prolonged absence. I am trying to gain some sanity after the immense changes in my life in the past one week. If I don’t make much sense here (not that I always do), I actually do have an excuse this time.

I have 29 more days to work. That’s when officially I will HAVE to make a routine, get up early, sleep on time (may be not all the time), eat well and plan and organize.

I have been counting down the days for so long now that 29 days don’t seem much but somehow the last days always go by so slow, I feel like I am never gonna make it there in this lifetime.

The worst part about being absolutely idle for almost 3 months is that you become so lazy that even the adding pounds to your waist don’t make your alarms ring. The thought of having a routine seems so pleasant but yet so hard to achieve. I could have worked out, ate well, taken up a hobby, sleep on time, woken up on time, but instead I chose the opposite of everything.

I am at a point now where I wonder whatever happened to the good old will power. I am leaving all my life goals to the “when I have a routine.” I have a list of things to do when I start work, but I have a feeling, not much success will be achieved. All I am doing is prolonging.

Things to do when I have a life:

• Join spinning classes. A must.
• Eat better. No fries.
• Save money. Yes save. Not spend on the Gucci shoes I’ve always had an eye own.
• Sleep better. Early to bed (by midnight or 1 am that is), early to rise will hopefully make healthy, wealthy and wise
• Go home(India) as soon as possible. See the loved ones. Watch cricket with dad, shop with the sister, just love mom every moment
• Eff boys. Honestly, right now, they don’t even matter
• Be a better person

I know some of these are pretty vague. But I only want to do these once I start work. I know I can be a better person right now, but I just don’t want to. These are the past 29 days of my life just to myself, and I ain’t getting them back EVER.

Sigh!

Enough said.

Countdown begins.

 

In memory of my uncle

We all always talk about ‘heartbreak’ and how much it hurts. I personally vent so much here, ranting about anything and everything that bothers or excites me, but I never thought of a time when I’ll have to face something more painful and not be able to vent about it.

You can deal with everything, reason everything, blame people for your misery, hope for them to change, and believe in all sort of things, but how do you deal with death?

I live so far away from home that I miss all the happy and sad parts of the ones in my family. Like the time my cousins got married, or when my sister graduated high school, or my cousin had a baby, or my aunt faced problems and this time when I lost my uncle, without even getting a chance to say goodbye.

I don’t know how to deal with him not being there. He was my father’s older brother, practically a father to me, calling me every chance he got to remind me how I am missed at every festival and celebration. He kept his family of 8 siblings together, kept in touch with everyone, was there for everyone. And I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.

He wanted to give me away on my wedding. He was my father’s best friend and an inspiration to everyone in the family. He cried when I left to come here asking me to come back soon. He was 63. And now he is gone. And I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.

I miss him.

I wish I was home.

I wish I could fix things.

I wish I had a chance to say goodbye.

 

The 5 stages of freaking out

Every once in a while when I get some sort of news from somewhere which is enough to freak me out I go through the same stages of emotions. Especially when I need to fix something pertaining to that news and it’s 2 am and everything is closed.

(Happens quite a bit)

The stages are as follows:

1. Immense burst of restlessness. Hysterical behavior accompanied by panting up and down my room (at least no one gets to witness that)
2. Trying to come with a solution. Constant Google search (if applicable) or phone calls (umm texts may be)
3. Trying to calm down and watching something (romantic comedies work like a wonder) after the search has either failed or can not provide immediate solutions (2 am god damn it) accompanies with some sort of rationality
4. Ruling out sleep as an option and deciding to make it through the night without sleeping with the mind on a constant thinking parade (yet much calmer then 4 points ago)
5. Seeing the sun come up and suddenly things seeming so much better after 4 hours

And usually after all that I do manage to come up with a fix. It’s the same every time. I know every time I’ll eventually figure it out, even if it’s an urgent situation but I manage to be patient while freaking out.

Amazing!!!!! Aint it?

Oh well. I wonder whether it’s just me or humans (may be women) just like going through too many emotions within few hours.

Sigh

Why the randomness you ask….

Sometimes people ask me what’s the point of blogging, and moreover what’s the point of blogging about extremely random and vague topics.

Well my answer is, there is no point and that’s why I do it. So many times there are things I say or write about that people I know do not share an interest in, and that’s when blogging comes in. I would be lying if I say I don’t want followers, I do, everyone likes there public blog being read, but I never make my friends read it, unless it’s something like ‘Cricket’ or a movie I am talking about.

Also no matter what I do, how I behave, what I want, at the end of the day, I am a girl, who has a lot to say about love, life, relationships and other random interesting things who lives in reality but dreams about fairy tales. Nothing wrong in that I assume.

So all in all if you ever happen to stop by and read one of my posts and wonder why am I writing what I am writing, then honestly I don’t know. I write in the moment, I have no theme, it’s an open diary, only I don’t reveal secrets, mostly because I hardly have any, and I don’t reveal people, because they are entitled to their privacy. That is about it.

On the note of being random, here is a song to listen to.

(Just cuz I have the whole 80’s thing going on)

 

Upgrading the living-style (lifestyle is fine)

Like most college students, I have lived cheap (not clothes cheap). I have had the same twin bed all 4 years, dearth of a furniture, no fancy stuff, sometimes living out of suitcases, no fancy crockery, cheap apartments and other cheap things that compensated for other habits that shook my finances every now and then (like eating out every day).

But college is over and now I think I need to or may be I want to upgrade my living-style. However, that ain’t easy. Being a person, who has never really spent money on household stuff, the prices, and the collection to chose from, is sort of, may be, overwhelming.

You ask me to spend $300 on a pair of GUCCI shoes, I’ll probably do it easily (if I have the money that is), but on a mattress (I am upgrading to full size from a twin), I will probably wonder how is that even possible, given I spent $60 on my first ever mattress set.

I have been visiting furniture stores, checking stuff out, seeing online prices, and prices of the things that I want, are not really helping the upgrade plan.

• Full size mattress with box spring: $300-$500
• Dresser with a mirror an drawers: $200-$400
• Futon (not the crappy ikea one): $250 – anything
• Couch and love seat set: $400 – anything

Basically the minimum things required in an apartment of a fresh college graduate will cost me anything between $1150 to $1500.

Sigh!

I don’t think I ever even put those expenses in my budget book. The whole house hold planning, and making it look like a home is still a very new concept to me.

But I want to upgrade. The first step towards being an employed graduate is living like one. College is over, and I guess, and I think I need a home-y apartment, not a crash anywhere one.

The question however is, where is the money??

The being social theory

In the past, whenever I have written about not having anything to talk about because there is nothing really going on in life, I have ended up having way too much going on. But, that still doesn’t stop me from writing about nothing going on.

So there really isn’t anything going on in life. I try to keep it that way by not getting into arguments with anyone, watching what I say, and spending time with a lot of friends I am not very close to, but friendly enough to spend time with.

(Oh and obsessing over some shows that are classified as ‘trashy’, not Jersey Shore though)

Now, I have theory (like the million others I have) about managing your social circle in a way so that when you are vacationing to the core (3 months or more) and have nothing to do, you don’t get into trouble with people and hence don’t kill yourself over small things.

I have realized meeting my friends in moderation works beautifully. I know I need to meet people, to keep myself occupied, but I also know that I can not meet the same people everyday, because then inevitably I’ll get into a situation where there will be some sort of argument or disagreement. Also, that will make me depend on their schedule, since I don’t have a schedule for 45 more days. So, I meet people, I socialize, but I mix it up, so that they do not get bored of seeing me, and I can keep in touch with as many people as I can while I can.

I am by no means an introvert, I like making plans with people, just meeting up with them, initiating a hang out session, so this works for me. I have made more girl friends in the past 2 months, than I ever did all five years of college, and I love it. I see them over coffee, dinner, lunch, drinks, and talk about boys (duh!), shoes, clothes, shows and everything that keeps us occupied. There are no serious talks, just laughs and giggles, and I come home without much to ponder over.

Being social is my thing, but that has gotten me into way too many things, and right now, I just can’t afford to think about things that make me restless, so my theory works, at least for me. I know I can’t be best friends with everyone, but I know I can call these people when I need to just get out of the house and chill.

And finally being social kinda does include twitter and Facebook. It’s some harmless interaction with people you hardly see, and will never see and a way too keep up with all the gossip and news floating around.

So not that you all are wondering how I pass my time, but I thought I’ll update everyone.

P.S: Talking to random celebrities and actually getting a reply from them is also kinda my new thing. (Even if it yells the fact that I have no life)

 

Loss of fashion but celluloid romance at it’s best

I am not going to live in denial and say that I do not dig chick flicks. I do, I always will, and I always have.

The thing about these movies is that they bring you two some hours of scripted ‘love’ and happy endings that every girl would want in her life. Most woman are cut to have that special someone and a forever, some want that at 18, while others at 28, but most want it.

That’s when the 80’s come in. The decade that was defined by emergence and success of the ‘Brat Pack’ movies and celluloid genius of John Hughes. I did not grow up here in the States, so the impact of that era did not become completely visible to me till very recently when I spent my days watching all those movies. But when I did watch them, I knew why people loved the 80’s, as much as the fashion sucked, the movies were light-hearted, and made people leave the theatre with a smile.

I saw Breakfast Club last year and after critiquing the fashion (which makes me wonder how can it be so bad every time I see a movie), my first reaction was “I am sure there are more movies like these, I need to find them.” And that’s when I found all of them, if I may call them, the 80’s classics, mostly having Molly Ringwald, who I had just seen as a mom in the preview of "The Secret Life of an American Teenager.” Who knew??

And then I came across the movies that hold a special place in my heart.

You have to like this movie. It’s one of those you can see with your kids. The girl who is a TomBoy and still gets the love of her life. (I doubt that ever happens in real life). Eric Stoltz is the cute high school boy while Craig Schaffer is the jockey (I remember him from One Tree Hill, though his younger version is definitely impressive). Lea Thompson does somewhat decent job in not looking completely ridiculous, but hey, it was the 80’s after all.

So my question is why is Molly Ringwald so unknown after literally ruling the 80’s. Not fair. Anyhoo..

Pretty in Pink is again a high school romance that starts with the cute Andrew McCarthy, again unknown by today’s generation, and how Molly and him fall in love. The prom scene in the end is definitely a killer.

And then there are the movies with Rob Lowe, about whom people, at least in my generation just know of as the guy who is in Brothers & Sisters.

How do you forget all these names even though they all give huge hits in the 80’s???

I guess that’s how it works, or may be the 90’s were the start of more rational and practical movies, and end of light-hearted era.

And all this gets me to my favorite movie of the 80’s starring Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey. Grey was a one hit wonder, but man could Swayze move. The fashion did not make me puke because it was set in the 60’s, and the sound track, I still can not stop humming some of the songs.

“Just a little it Longer,” “She’s like the wind,” “I’ve had the time of my life,” were all the songs that make one move with them. It was sort of a musical but not exactly one. The dance performances and the one dialog, “Nobody puts baby in the corner,” has been said a million times.

This is the movie that I can watch again and again and just smile. The romance is refreshing, and the non-high school setting in combination with a summer romance is soothing.

All in all I love the 80’s. A part of me wishes I grew up here so that I could have celebrated these movies while growing up, but may be it’s still not to late. I miss the time when there used to be an era of movies and fashion, no matter how good or bad it was. You know when there was a trend to follow, something that could make people say, “That movie is so from that decade.”

Doesn’t happen anymore.

I think I am going to watch Ferris Bueller’s Day Off now. See how much that makes happy.

P.S: Don’t judge me. I am free till October. I can watch as many movies as I want.