I am one of those people who always want to know. Like always. I want to know where everyone in the house is, I want to know what my friends are doing so that I can jump on their free time, I want to know about their love life and other things and so on and so forth.
That is normal I guess, but for a change I think I do not want to know. I mean not about what they are doing and all, but in general I feel like not knowing sometimes is awesome. I am like a walking talking calendar for people. My roomies usually just come to me and ask where the others are, because they know I'll know. In other words, I know too much. Always, about everyone. I am not saying I am this person who people confide in, I am not, I can be an awfully self centered piece of a being, but I just like to know.
Some people like Pooja of course (my critic for every thing, the only person who can boss me around without actually pissing me off) tell me how I know too much. So once I decided not to know, and my curiosity levels rose like crazy, and I started thinking and thinking and thinking and then there was silence, peace, and no desire to know. It's like withdrawing from drugs. Its an addiction. Addiction to know. And even though its not life taking, its definitely life defining. I wish I wanted to know so much about Physics concepts, or art, or sociological theories, there would have been some rewards, but no I decide to stick to knowing about my friends.
I wonder what god was thinking while creating me. Yes its good to know, but no .. information overload is never ever good. What's the point in dissecting everything, in analyzing everything, in knowing everything. May be not knowing sometimes, being ignorant is a blessing. May be its saving yourself some energy, and giving you the opportunity to spend time on things that actually matter.
It's amazing how I spend so much time actually writing about what I want to change about myself. How the hell did I manage to gain so much imperfection. I was not always like that, but this whole self searching is happening way too much. That's why spring is awesome, it just keeps me in a good mood, even if I have reasons (pointless sometimes) to die inside.
On a different note, I start work on Monday. So basically six months of no school work, and a lot of free weekends. I have done it before and I know how the first 3 months fly by, and then the next 3 seem like a drag, but still I am looking forward to it. Change is good, change is motivating :).
And now I have to get back to studying, I have final due soon and instead I am spending time on my blog. I think I now have an addiction to writing too. Not that it's bad, but says something about my addiction issues (the knowing addiction). Technology sucks I swear, youtubing, blogging, iming does not let me study!!!
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