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May 20, 2009

It's amazing how I get to know

I said in one of my earlier posts that I do not want to know, but its still very amazing that I get to know, in a way may be its good, does not let me forget I was never important enough in someones life.

Something happened last night that I very well regret. I do not feel good about it (it was my fault), and I truly wish I did not say/do what I said/did. I regret it even more after this one conversation I had with one of my friends today, because that clearly states I am a DUMBASS. And this time I can't even blame the other person.

Me: Yo, where are you, wanna hang out?
She: Dude, I am outside --------, shit loads to do (as usual.. sigh)
Me: When do you not have a lot to do
She: (Randomly) I think I see &&&
Me: oh
She: oh wait, I think I see --- too with &&&
Me: oh (why did I say anything last night)
She: oh well
Me: It's cool! I was told I am not needed..lol.. so they can hang out
She: You are strong woman (Clearly, some friends of mine overestimate me except Pooja ofcourse)
Me: Nah! There is nothing left to think about. I was very honestly told where I stand
She: (Random crap about how deserving I am)
Me: yes yes 
She: What are you thinking
Me: Nothing.. why?
She: I can't believe you were ever friends
Me: I over estimated it I guess
She: Achcha, lets meet tomorrow
Me: ooooooo... you have time for me
She: I'll mark it on my calendar
Me: ok

So my point is, I get to know most of the times. Like yesterday or day before or Sunday night, I always do but I still have to act like a DUMBASS. I don't know what was I thinking, or whether I was thinking at all. I seriously hear an inner voice saying, "Show some self-respect for god's sake."

oh well..

good think I had this conversation with her right now, may be otherwise I would have started thinking may be I am more important (that's the mistake I make, I start thinking otherwise because of the behavior and not believe what was actually said)

SIDE NOTE: I am really sleepy. Hopefully by midnight I should be cosy in my bed :)

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