It's all coming back

People mess up. They think about bad things, they want bad things to happen to others, but does that make them bad people?

Nahhh.. not really. There are always times in your lives, when you want something to happen because you are angry or mad. But when you are clamer, you don't wish those things, because you out of all that trouble that you went through.

What makes you not so much good of a person is what you do. I think I do mess up a lot, but I try not to hurt anyone else with that. Just my way of protecting my karma.

Right now I am going through intense emotions, I do sometimes wish bad things too (I almost did one last night..sigh), but something always stops me, I guess somewhere in my mind I always know that I wont get any peace by doing that.

I have a friend who told me I need to chill a little. I wish he realized I would if I did not have to deal with people just chosing other people over me when I did not even do anything wrong.

For a while (3 weeks or so), I forgot what all I had been through or I chose to not think about it just because I felt like I was needed (which I was not btw), and I needed to be there to help a friend forget some bad memories. But it's all coming back. It is all very clear again, it is all there.

So I will chill, I will not give a damn, I will not look at you for comfort, I will not call you my friend, and follow this advice of chilling. I just don't know yet when that will happen. Summer is my hope, and that is what I look forward to.

Side Note: I love moms. They cook awesome food :)...