Why not me?

That’s the question most people asked themselves after being in unreciprocated situations or unwanted break ups or just being hopelessly in love.

I have always heard that after you get hurt, you stop believing in the power of love. The question remains unanswered, because there is no answer, but you still wonder till it doesn’t matter anymore.

You can just accept, “It was not meant to be” instead of, “I am not good enough",” and lead a happy life henceforth. Or just spend it fixing something in your self which probably doesn’t need any fixing.

I was very nicely told by an old friend that I am too picky. I think too much before getting into anything with anyone and so that combined with my comparison issues doesn’t make it any easy for me. Unfortunately, he makes sense. Sigh!

My head knows why it was not me? But my heart with a little bit of ego will wonder for a while till it completely and absolutely doesn’t matter. It is a strange place to be in, I know it all, and yet I like to believe the otherwise.

For some reason, these are the only words I can think of right now…

And on the 23rd night

things aint bad, but things aint right

are we falling or flying

are we falling or flying

are we living or dying

I guess we’ll never know!

22

I am officially 22 today.

Feels old, and not as fun as 21 felt. I was so excited about 21, it was all I wanted, all I wished for, but 22, not really.

There is no excitement, no expectations. It's just like another day.

I am in India, celebrating my birthday here after a very long time, and it feels strange. There are friends who made sure they wish at 12 am sharp, and generally as a kid, I have always looked forward to that. But I guess, after 21, it all stops. So weirddd.

I am sure someone who is 25 is reading this, will feel I am being ridiculous. But oh well!!! That's how I feel right now, can't help it.

It's good to be home though. See your parents smile. See your sister excited. See your friends wish you and say, "thank god, you are here for once." I am glad I am here because of them at least. :)

So Happy Birthday to me :) ...