Some people just know whether they are beautiful or not. I am talking about the outside, even though the word actually takes everything into consideration, including what's inside.
And then some people know they are not really.
And then there are some who see themselves from the eyes of others. (Ofcourse) I fall in this category.
My mom thinks I am pretty, and obviously she would think that even if I were 50 pounds more, and had fat oozing out of every area, so she definitely does not count.
Then there are my friends. It's not their job to go around saying I am pretty, because that would be just lame (and a lot of times a lie).But but but... I see what they feel in their eyes. I see it what they really want to tell me, in the way they talk to me. The way my girl friends talk about the boy I want to date, the way my guy friends make sidey comments, and you know all the crap that goes on.
My point is.. how much does it matter what's on the outside? I mean I am sure you need to have something, but how important it is compared to what's inside?
My friend Gauri says, "I don't understand how can someone let someone go when they click so well."
And my answer to that was.. "Well, because they are young and they know, the chances of finding a prettier face exist pretty nicely."
That stands specially true for boys. I actually know some, who would always go for the prettier thing, even if the girl they apparently click with is standing right next to them.
So coming back to my main point...
I am not very self obsessed, I believe what my friends tell me. If they say, "Dude go wear something better" or "You have too much make up on" or "You look fab".. I basically believe it. So if one of my best friends tell me that I am ugly (not that harsh, but for the lack of a better word), I think I believe it, if not believe it then I wonder ... really don't you think I am beautiful just because you know me so well?
Frankly speaking, personally I am very content with whatever I am, and no I do not think I am ugly, but since I give people the power to speak, I get hurt. It's not about what you say, it is about how you say it. I should be immuned to a lot of stuff.. (I think I kinda am).. but certain things that are said are classic.
I picked this piece up from an anonymous blog. This is how the guy talks to the girl, while subtly telling her she is not worth it...
He: Why do you have to react like this when I am with her, or I talk to her
She: Because you like her, and I cant stand it
He: I thought it was clear since the beginning
She: I thought things were changing.... (awkward silence).... Would you rather date her than me?
He: Yes
She: ok
She (thinks to herself): Wow.. the man is honest, and I am still doing what I am doing
Girls generally do fall for a less conventional good looking boy, but how many times have you seen a boy pick up the slighly over weight, not glass shattering material girl but nice girl over a pretty pretty thing? ... ahhh ahhh ahhhh ... never
So the question is how do you really know what you are when your girl friends say you are pretty, the man you love thinks you are not even close, your mom thinks you'll get anyone and oh well you dont really think about it anymore???
It's amazing what all thoughts come to mind.. the only consolation.. these random thoughts are so unreal untimes, that I am glad things don't always happen to be written.
It is more like what you do if.....
If then analysis.. like a true wanna be programmer.. sigh!
