Things to do when there is nothing to do

when I was 10 years old I was crazy about the annual book fair that was held in my school. it was sponsored by scholastic.
I always wanted as many books as I could. ghostbusters, sweet valley, nancy drew, anything and everything.
this one time, I bought 1001 things to do when there is nothing to do, not because I had nothing to do, but because I wanted to know what american kids do when they have nothing to do, especially in summer.
now why am I saying all this, well just because I think I can use that book right about now. I am not an american teenager, or even an american by any standards but I am in america. so may be I can use some "how to spend your summer" tips and make use of the seemingly unlimited time I have.
right now, I am going to some random office party with a bunch of people I have absolutely nothing in common with. in my normal routine, I would never do that, and I am sure the same goes for them, but the nothingness makes you find fun everywhere you can I guess.
also, I am writing this on my phone, which says something about how I am spending my ride to the place.
SIGH!!!!
anyhoo...
I am glad it's summer. no season is better than this one.

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Letter to God

Dear God,

You know how they say sometimes, “It was always meant to be.”

How do you know that’s true?

What if sometimes you believe, you keep that faith, and still your “meant to be” never happens?

I can never really seem to make myself use that line really. At least not anymore, because well, my meant to be is not easily believed by other people, but that’s besides the point.

The point is, this whole belief and faith and all the positive, magical terms, how do they really help, when nothing, absolutely nothing is going your way and all you feel is this intense emotion of sadness and pain and time is not your best friend.

Honestly, I wouldn’t know. I would like to think there are happy endings for the believers in “meant to be,” but if I say that I would be lying.

But even after all that I think I want to have so much belief and faith in something that I can convince myself that it was meant to be. I need some magic around me to make me believe, to make me think sometimes it’s ok to go with the heart.

(The awesome weather right now is just making me a romantic)

So all in all I am asking you to help me believe. To grant me some faith without making me go through the whole questioning it phase, at least this one time. I think I have questioned it enough in the past, so may be this time I should get a pass on that one.

What do you think? Sounds like a decent request to me. I promise I’ll appreciate what I get, and not let you down. Trust me, you’ll be glad you did this for me.

I hope I can get this ASAP.

(I know you don’t want a million letters from me, so hopefully just this one works.)

Lots of love,

Me

 

Letter to my readers

Dear Readers,

I know this letter will probably get me a lot of hate, but I need to say this.

A lot of my blogging is just a venting space. I do it here, because I would rather blog about it to random people than bore my close friends with it.

However I know some of my close friends do read it. And when they read some things, they assume other things, which probably is my fault because I am so vague.

And when they assume, they tell my other close friends about it, and hence starts a chain of Japanese whisper, where one thing turns in to other.

Again, I know people care and they will try and help me out if I sound extremely upset or just stupid or in distress or all those kinds of things. But the thing is I am usually not taking a dig at anyone at all. When I say boy friend, best friend, friend, coworker and all those things, a lot of time they are just made up scenarios to get my point across.

I do not have issues with everyone in my life. I love the people in my life, and inevitably there are certain times when we fight or have miscommunication and I mention my state of mind, and that is when I vent here.

Please do not go tell someone, “I think she meant you,” because trust me you don’t know. All it does is create a chain of explanations from me. And I do not want to be answerable to anyone for what I do here. I never take names. I usually keep things vague, at least I try to. If you sometimes think something is really bothering me, ask me, don’t bother people with it, they start thinking I am just bitching about them publicly.Because honestly, I never mean to hurt anyone.

And may be I have in the past. May be I have said somethings which are bothersome and some people close to me take it personally, and for that I am truly apologetic.

I blog because it calms me down. I blog when I need to find a way to distract myself. I blog when I think someone out there will get what I am saying. I blog making hypothetical situations. I blog for expression, not for vengeance.

So all that being said, can you please tell me yourself if something offended you, or you think I was talking about someone in particular. Because trust me, I know you care, you are curious, but sometimes you mess things up for me. Even if I am talking about someone, may be I should be the one clearing things with them, instead of you making them believe it’s them.

Lastly, even here I am not talking about anyone in particular. Because I have no one particular in my mind. I don’t at all. I just know there are some people who do this, mostly out of concern, but even if their intention is right, their execution isn’t.

I hope I did not make anyone mad by saying all this. I love blogging, and I just don’t want to be scared to write anything. This is one place I don’t have to care, and I would hate it if it were otherwise.

Thank you for reading!!!

Love,

Me

 

No balance

Obviously there are people in your life who you like more than they like you. It is hard to achieve an equilibrium, is it almost rare.

There is always that boyfriend/girlfriend who cares less than you, the best friend who is not as much about you as you are about her, the friend who forgets to wish you every year while you never forget, the cousin who is your role model and doesn’t even care, the teacher you have a crush on but doesn’t look back, the co-worker who makes your heart skip a beat and never even notices you, and so on and so forth. Basically there are so many situations where the balance is beyond reachable.

Sometimes you are ok with this unbalanced situation. (I mean c’mon, you can’t always have it your way, can you know!!!)

The other times, this unbalance bothers the hell out of life.

So the question is what do you do when you are in the latter situation?

I would usually say, back the hell off. Getting your expectations down is the best way to reach the equilibrium. Never sell your self short because trust me, it sucks to be the one who is always expecting.

(I just stopped making sense even to myself)

And my very very random question is what do you do when you are in love with your best friend’s boy friend?

(I have been watching way too much One tree Hill, do not even get me started on how much)

P.S: I love this song:

 

Why date?

Last night I was sitting with a bunch of people in one of my regular hang outs and discussing the dating lives of people. The whole discussion consisted of when to date, who to date, why date and so on and so forth. And that’s one I realized something.

Dating means “getting to know the other person, with some pre-existing pressure of making it to the next level unlike being friends first and then eventually getting into a relationship.”

See, I always knew that, but I never realized it needs to be practiced. It is indeed a very non-Indian way. Indians don’t just meet and start dating, there is always some sort of friendship preceding it. But then there is dating, where you don’t always need the friendship.

I have never ever been able to open myself to the idea of just meeting someone and going on a date and then going on a second one and you know the pattern. I have always wondered, “how the hell do you trust the person in few meetings?” What if the guy is a creepster, or a stalker, or a liar or just outright psychotic???

(Hey, you know these things happen, weirdos come along)

So, What’s the point in taking such a big chance just because you want to be with someone?

Well I guess, after a while, that is how you meet people. Get to know what’s out there. May be fall in love someday. At least, that’s what the stories that were presented to me suggested.

So may be, dating isn’t that risky. Just don’t wear your heart on your sleeve, keep that guard up.

:))

 

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The eventful and the uneventful

I have been propagating my uneventful summer so far and saying how blessing it is. I have had quite an eventful life for the past 2 some years and I liked the whole no thinking/no thoughts/nothing to ponder on time I was being blessed with it.

But then, I started mentioning how uneventful my life is, and even if it can get boring some times, I like it. Now, given my past experiences, I know whenever I have said that, some events have come up. It is just the way it has been, and I haven’t learn anything, and I still bring up my uneventful life, and there come the events.

SIGH!!!

So anyways. I have been thinking what really is eventful? Unless something impacts you in some sort of way, it can not really be eventful. I mean, there has not been anything very interesting lately apart from this one crazy girl’s night out I did with my girls of course. But I feel life is eventful right now, at least at this very moment. I don’t know if I should be complaining, but I don’t know if I would be able to take any more of these events. I suck at events when they don’t go my way. I don’t like anticipation and doubts. I do very badly with them. VERY VERY badly, especially when I have no work or school to occupy myself. So now I am wondering what do I want??

(That was an unusually long paragraph)

The eventful or the uneventful? I can do with a little bit of events, but if they get out of my hands, I know I’ll pray and wish for none.

SIGH!!!

I think too much. Can’t blame me right now, I have all the time in the world.

Oh well, College is so over

Given I have nothing to do, I should be writing more, or blogging more. But since I have nothing to do, I realized, blogging only happens when in fact, you have something to do.

Nothing to do equates to meeting less people, doing nothing new, spending most time in your room which in fact doesn’t give you any sort of inspiration  or material to write about.

I have been an ardent blogger for a while now, almost 2 years. This is an addiction for me, I have to write and when I don’t for a while, I feel like I need to do it. I start missing just scribbling a post down (while enjoying the fact that my mind is at peace) and invariably come up with something to say, even if a lot of times it’s pointless and confusing.

Anyhoo, college is so OVER.

In the past week or so I have managed to work on few on campus events and help out with new student orientation for incoming freshmen, that’s when I truly realized I don’t belong there. It feels different for some reason, knowing that kids who were probably in seventh grade when I started college are starting college now. It makes me more ready to start work and feel young , instead of feeling super old in college.

I have 72 more days of nothingness right now and all I want is them to fly by. It hasn’t been bad so far, but I know, sooner or later, I’ll get frustrated.

Sigh!

P.S: I am officially a H1-B holder now, in other words, I can work without worrying about my VISA. God bless America!!