Letter to Dhoni

Dear Dhoni,

I am not sure if you are aware, but I as one of the billion Indians, would like you to know that we love and respect you. Now that being said, I know we just won against Australia, kicking them out of a world cup even before reaching the final after almost 15 years, but there are some things we should talk about…

First and foremost, what is up with your batting. I know you are in a pressure situation leading a team which is always surrounded by way too many expectations, but dude, c’mon, you know you are way more than just gifting the ball to fielder to get out kinda guy. Don’t you?

Secondly, I do understand that Indian players have never been the greatest of fielders, I mean everyone knows that, but I don’t understand the point of repeatedly making public statements saying, “We gotta do with what we’ve got, our fielding is not going to get any better,” “This is the best fielding we can come with, it’s not going to get better,” and so on and so forth. I get it.  I get that we probably won’t get better, but why can’t we try? If we can succeed in being a no.1 team, why can’t we be better at fielding, or at least try?

Lastly, I am sure you know that this is Sachin’s (the God of cricket) last world cup. Let’s face it, there is a very small possibility that he will play at 42 in 2015. So why don’t you fix this little bit of attitude that you have (which reminds me you have started sounding like Ponting, the way he did right before his downfall) and just focus on the team and the game.

And of course, I am just a fan, sitting and watching the game from thousands of miles away, without knowing what/how you guys strategize, but you all matter collectively to me. And as much as I have to agree that you know way better, I have to say what I feel is right. And since I am saying this after you have won the most epic game, it means that I mean it, because unlike most other people I am not getting over shadowed by the victory and losing the sight of what is important, the world cup.

So if you ever get a chance to read this, think about it. Think about where you are, and how can you be great by being a little better (learn from God here).

Thanks so much.

Regards,

A crazy fan

Freaking out

So I have established I do very well under pressure and deadlines and I suck when I don't have deadlines.


Anyways that is not what I want to talk about, but rather some other things I have established.


I don't have faith in people when it comes to believing they'll be there in times of sadness and need. This has been established based on certain incidents in the past some weeks. As it appears, I am not that chill either with uncertainty and anticipation, I freak out and want to run away.


The point here is, I know all these things about myself, and there is absolutely nothing I can do to fix it while not spoiling my relationships with people. The only fix in my head is to say 'bye-bye it was nice knowing you.'


It's amazing how I lose my sleep and food over things that are mostly the creation of my mind, sometimes instigated by minor events or few upsetting comments. And even worse is, I repeat, I can control it with most people, because I try not to be attached, but with some people, the ones I am attached to but not completely well versed to their personality, I have PhD in freaking out.


Sigh!


(This is my emotional outburst after maintaining a sane silence on heart filling information)


I sometimes really wonder is it just me, or the woman kind is like that in general. I would like to believe it is not just me and we are one of a kind, but when I am freaking out, every other woman seems so sane, that I sometimes doubt my capability to rationalize in instant situations.


(Not that you all want to understand the ***k out of me)


One thing I would like to add though, all this freaking out usually lasts for a few hours, may be a day, and once I am done freaking out, all I do is wonder why the hell was I freaking out in the first place.


Go figure!


It's almost like I have two parts to the sane part of my brain (Makes sense?)


I think I function best without attachments of sorts, but good friendships of sorts (This definitely doesn't make sense to you, I am very sure of that)


Anyhoo... today apart from all the meaningless conversation I just had with the internet up there, has been a very good day (I know it's not over it). Being recognized at work, makes my life go high-five itself. I wish I had way more of these awesome days. But then I think they only come after a couple of 14 hours days... had one of those yesterday.


Which really brings me to hopefully my last point, sleep after being exhausted at work, is the best sleep ever made by mankind God. I slept for barely 5 hours but the best 5 hours.


:D


So yeah basically I wonder how to not freak out.


P.S: I know I have typos all the time, but I am too impatient to double check. Can't lose that flow yo.

Let's talk about cricket

If you know me, then you know Cricket and Bollywood makes my life worth living (like for most Indians).

So, since the ICC Cricket World Cup 2011 is on, I can't help but be glued to games and watch some unexpected results while wondering how the hell is India going to make it to the next rounds, all at the same time.

Let's talk about some games that make this world cup a heart racing, jaw dropping, unorthodox and unexpected series of events.

England vs Netherlands


Most of us can't even name one player in the Dutch team. They are a bunch of players who come, play and leave. There are no hoardings or banners with their names. They just play for the love of the game barely making it to the world cup.

So when these players play England, a country where cricket was essentially born, I don't think anyone pays much attention to wondering who'll win, the question is, how badly will they lose.

But then there are players like Ryan ten Doeschate. (Yes, I know his name now). Who comes and plays so beautifully, that we all as spectators are suddenly wooing for the underdogs, the Dutch, to win. Yes England won the game, because in the last few overs, the Dutch started showing their amateur roots but Doeschate proved, doesn't matter which country you play for, it matters how you play, and how much you love the game with a century and two wickets under his belt.

India vs England


Not to be biased or anything, but the world knows that the Indians can bat. Before the game started, it was suppose to be an even game, with either side having similar chances of winning, but once the game started Sachin Tendulkar proved once again, he is here to stay and how.

When Sachin hit his century against the Englishmen, the world bowed down, and the English felt helpless. That's the sheer magic the man creates around him. A score of 338 is never assumed to be chase-able. It has never been chased in the world cup. It is always enough to put the opposition in pressure, even more so during a world cup game.

But then again, Indians who can bat like there is no tomorrow, somehow forget every now and then, cricket is a game of batting and bowling. Yes Zaheer and Harbhajan are good bowlers, but we need 5 of them, or may be good 4 of them, and that's somehow never understood.

Strauss, the English captain, made use of India's inability to bowl and hit his first world cup century crossing the 150 run mark, making the chase seem so easy, that one actually wondered if any score is ever enough?? England, at one stage, were positioned to win the match well before the 50th over mark, till as it always happens in the game of cricket, twists and turns, or a batting powerplay in the last ten overs changed the game and resulted in a tie.

That game just proved that no team today truly no.1, like the Australians used to be few years ago.

England vs Ireland


The biggest upset of a world cup ever. Not because England lost to their amateur neighbors, but because a country who is still fighting to get its test status managed to chase down 327 in 49.1 overs against the likes of Anderson, Swann and Bresnan. Such was the joy on Irish faces, it seemed like they had won the world cup in their own way.

The Irish have Kevin O'Brien, who has proved time and again that cricket is his passion, and he will play till he can prove that the Irish deserve more than just a world cup entry every 4 years. The Irish did it once before in 2007 when they kicked Pakistan out of the world cup, and once again they are ready to prove that they don't want to be underdogs, they are here to play cricket, like any other test nation.

England on the other hand must be wondering if they are capable of beating South Africa who they face next on March 6th. All the weird games had their name in common, and it's probably time for them to think if they are surviving through talent or just luck.



There is still so much of cricket to be witnessed and I can't wait to see how this all turns out. There is no favorite team this time. Australia is no more the super power, super confident, invincible team it was once. And right now, the cup is a fair game. Anyone can win it, the question is will it be one of the test nations, or we'll be surprised this time around? 

Do not even read this

So I have this "something is missing" feeling a lot these days. It is not suppose to be like that, but for some reason it is like that. I think I would like my blame my idiot BFF who decided to move half way across the globe, soon after which events took place which changed a lot around. 

NOT COOL!

I have friends but I am lazy, which means I would rather be in bed doing nothing, then making an effort of walking two blocks to see someone even if its 7 PM and I am back from work and I still have 4 hours before I start planning going to bed. So that in combination with my the closest friends not living around has turned me into a boring, not feeling at home person. 

(What am I even saying, someone needs to proof read this thing for me)

All I am trying to say is I think a year down the lane, I'd be ready to leave Philly and move to a different city. It was always about the people, and some how the people that made it what it is, are not here anymore. I miss those people but oh well, can't do no-thing about that.

(You know what I do at 8:30PM on a Monday night, plan on going to bed, LAME, very LAME, someone make me work out, I am getting fat... this is where I completely lost it)

Changing the topic entirely, I can't believe I am so feeling-less that I can't come up with a half decent expressive post. What is happening? I am thinking about work, and unfortunately can't write about that here, now can I..

Now I am just rambling, my worst ever I swear. 

Anyhoo, at least I cook more and clean more. (Not that it even matters). I am getting all homely.

Wonder where the college girl in me went??

I am alive :D

It truly sucks how much your life gets affected by 50-60 hours of work weeks. 


Don't get me wrong, I love working. I am not complaining about the long work hours. I guess I am disappointed that I don't get to blog as much anymore. When work is your priority and on your mind even after you are not at work, it's hard to sit down and come up with some coherent thoughts that can be jotted down here.


Also, I am growing up, so my pain and misery or my love and life won't come up here in a over the top, overly expressive fashion (Makes sense?)


What I am trying to say is, I am not the girl who can't keep a heart break to herself and has to write about the pain here anymore. I know I have done that for way too long, but somehow I wish I hadn't. I think it wasn't perceived the right way, I guess all I really wanted was to rant to strangers in this form without realizing how needy it sounds sometimes.


Again, I am not saying expressing here is wrong, all I am saying is I wish I had some control over my pouring emotions here. But then again, may be that's what growing up is, learning to be sane in situations which can leave you incapable of maintaining any ounce of self control and rationality. So yeah, I am growing up.


Now I know how it must have been to read me crying (in some sort of way) on my blog for so long. Honestly, it was genuine, I was upset, but may be I could have worded it better without revealing the importance of few un named people in my life.


I say all this now because new people come in our lives, we move on, we make a better life, eventually we are always glad that what happened did happen, but what we wrote on the internet always stays. It is a reminder of how uncontrollably needy you sounded in some way giving importance to something/someone that truly did not deserve the extra attention. 


(OMG, I will achieve sainthood soon)


So yeah, the original point was, work is crazy and I am growing up which leaves me sort of weary of what I say sometimes. I want to blog, but I don't want to cry. (Though I think I haven't done that in a while, and there is nothing to cry about actually)


As usual, I refused to process what I am writing and I summed up quite a few points here, so if you are a reader of this blog, you get the drift :D


On a side note: This winter is driving me nuts. Seriously nuts. I need spring, sun, clean sidewalks, cleaner roads, not slipping and falling, and wearing cooler shoes and not the boring snow boots.


FYI -- The cricket world cup is around the world cup and I am making a schedule to plan my sleep around it :D:D


P.S: I am getting fat in the winter..sigh

Some new year rants

Happy New Year people! I believe we are allowed to say Happy New Year all of January so I won’t consider myself too late in doing same.

Unfortunately I haven’t had the happiest of  a first week in the 2011 but that’s all in the past and I promise I would not let a piece of shrimp send me to the ER again, especially if I am in a city which is not Philadelphia (that makes the situation 100 times worse).

And I don’t have a resolution for this year. So many people asked me what’s your new year’s resolution, but I honestly couldn’t say anything. Mostly because, I think what’s the point. Seriously, I hardly ever follow one, and mostly it’s been losing weight, which will never happen (I have become more comfortable with not being a size zero over some time, with age comes wisdom J ). I am taking work even more seriously, I want to do three things at once, which is not easy especially because I sorta do have a life outside of work and time management is a huge task. I am sure it would be a huge help if I didn’t fall sick every time I step out of a hotel in some city but I am trying.

Right now I feel very triumphant because I managed to convince US Airways to put me on a flight to Phoenix and then to San Jose and beat the storm. I was almost sure I won’t make it out of Philadelphia today, but I guess this time I was saved. But I am sitting in the middle of two very unhappy people so I have no other option to concentrate on my screen. No small talk for me.. nope..none..what so ever.

(OMG, now I have a feeling I am going to start ranting about all the delayed and cancelled flights I have had in the past 2 months or so)

It’s January 11^th and I will cover 6 segments aka 6 flights today since January 1. And then life will change and I will be in Philly for 8 weeks non-stop without going anywhere at all.. sigh. I know I get tired of flying and fall sick and sometimes wish to be in Philly instead of some city like Indianapolis or San Jose or something like that, but I know I love flying. I don’t think I can do without it for much long.

(ok the rant did not come through.. good)

It’s a different life what we, consultants live. For us, the world is a relatively smaller place. We know if a close someone living in a city 1000 miles away, we’ll still see them once in two weeks. We learn to travel light, cover different cities, always be in a long distance relationship of sorts, meet a million new people, appreciate home more, yet need to get away from it to do that,  and maintain friends in random cities and still manage to see them every now and then.

It is hectic, but I don’t think I’ll ever have enough of it. It’s a weird satisfaction of sorts. The crazy working hours but the fun dinners, the sometimes long flights but a friend in the destination city that I haven’t seen in some time, the falling sick every now and then, but having coworkers who care around me..it’s all very comforting.

Basically I love this life so much that I will be devastated if I have to leave it. For that I need to sleep more, be more focused, eat  better, live better so that I do not have food poisoning at a very wrong time.

(I know I know I can’t stop gushing about how much I love my job)

Anyhoo, the point was to wish you all Happy New Year and really just say one thing, I know it’s just a change of one day that gets us from 2010 to 2011 and that shouldn’t really change anything right…

But there is this hope, this sense of ‘it’ll be better’ every time January 1 comes around. So make use of it, enjoy it, channel it, may be this year will be the best ever J

The year that was...2010

The year is coming to an end, and unlike last year I don't know if I can summarize 2010 as well as I summarized 2009.

2010 was a year where I think I discovered new things about myself or I guess I finally grew up. I learned to control my emotions, and many a times, I didn't feel any emotions.

I finished school, I spent 3 months doing absolutely nothing and sleeping 12 hours a day, I started working and traveling (still doing that), living off a suitcase, and towards the end of it I started saying good-byes. There is this weird feeling associated with growing up that came in 2010. There is this sense of nostalgia that came with 2010.  And most of all there is the "learning to be alone" syndrome that came with 2010.

In 2010 came the realization that it's hard to make those deep friendships after a certain point in your life. I realized how friends that I made in freshman year still know me best, still read me best and still are closest to my heart. I realize no many how many more people I meet, I hang out with, become friends with, at the end of the day those are the people I want to see in my life forever.

In 2010 came the realization that those people won't stay with me forever. They are leaving, finding their own lives, and saying good-bye is becoming harder every day. 

I don't miss the home works, or the early morning classes, I love working. But I miss those relationships, those people, those friends, some of whom have drifted away but still never leave my mind.

In 2010 came a lot of changes, just one thing didn't change, which should have changed. Still wondering how much more time...

So in 2011 this is what I want to do:

• I don't want to write a 'One Year Later' post again. 
• I want to go home and see my parents I want to prove distance doesn't hurt friendships
•  I want to be alone but not lonely 
• I want to be as happy as I am at work I want to feel some emotions. I think I lost too many 

I don't have any resolutions. I am just hoping for time to do its tricks as usual.