Just a thought

Remember how I always stress on time. It’s the time when I am questioning time.

Time is not playing well with me.

Either it needs to tell me what, when and where.

Or it just needs to fly like it always does.

I can’t wait to be busy again. How do people actually deal with having nothing to do. Beyond me.

The thought is.. Time is not playing nice. I know I should give it some credit, which I do. But over all, its time for time to do some nice love dovey things.

Ok, I know you are thinking I am not making much sense. But If you remember anything I say (write), you will know what I mean …..

Time is still taking too much time…..

What makes a blog be out there

I have been blogging since almost 16 months now (OMG, that just dawned on me), and I have understood a few little things about the blogging world and what really makes one blog worthwhile.

1. First and foremost the readers matter the most. If no one is reading your blog, then in most likely hood you will give up eventually.
2. Readers matter and so you should make sure you know your demographic. It’s hard to please everyone so don’t expect everyone to like what you write
3. Don’t stop just because you don’t have any comments ever. Trust me there are so many of those readers who will never ever comment but read it all the time.
4. Be patient. It takes a lot of time for your blog to be noticed. It is a slow process. The internet is filled with blogs and it takes a long time to get a loyal readers base.
5. You know your blog is making some progress when Google finds it with some search terms. Trust me that’s huge. Took mine 16 months to make it there.

The bottom line is. Start writing for yourself first and then don’t stop. Life is busy, you have stuff to do, but once you find a place here, trust me everything else will follow.

(Google search just made me super excited and I feel pretty pretty cool right now)

16 months and still going. And I hope to go on.

A very Happy new year

A very very happy new year to all of those who read this.

(I know there are few)

Hopefully 2010 will be better than 2009 (I remember thinking the same in 1999). We are in a new decade and things will only get better from here (Hopefully)

Everyone in general has some resolutions. One of my friends told me he wants to be more ‘in touch’ with people this year. Then the other wants to be less emotional.

Some want to lose weight (which includes me), and some want to start afresh. There is something that everyone really wants to.

What is it about the new year that makes people start all over again? After all its just a date change.. ain’t it?

Honestly, I really don’t have any resolutions or any beginnings. It’s all the same it has been for a while.

I just want to not make the same mistakes, not get hurt, not hurt people, get an awesome job, make money, be happy. The same things I wish for everyday.

But it’s 2010. The year where I will leave college for good. The year I will enter the world. The year where I have to start, somewhat all over again. The year of new beginnings.

So I hope and pray this year at least, I can start all over again. Meet more people, make more friends, keep in touch with the old ones and be strong.

Not too much to ask for eh?

So once again a very happy new year..and a very happy new decade :)

How much vacation is enough vacation

Ok, I know most of you will think while reading the title itself that there is nothing such as enough vacation. But trust me there is….

(I am not stupid)

Drexel does not give one enough vacations. It’s a 5 year school with no summer off after freshman year which means that you don’t relate to the concept of a full fledged ‘nothingness’ vacation. So basically this is my first in 3.5 years. I have never been this idle in a long long time.

Usually I am either working or traveling or doing something. I am never just by myself doing NOTHING.

(I do need to stress on the nothing)

Now that I have been doing it since a while, I am kind of done with it. Winter + Vacation is making me lazy. I am craving for a routine (not a lot of hw, just a routine).

I am so lazy that I can not even party. Seriously, I can not!!!! :O

I went out with a couple of girls for dinner tonight. We had some Mexican food, and then everyone else decided to stick around for drinks and bar hopping. And I.. yes I.. despite of having nothing to do, became lazy and came back home.

How much more lazy can I be? I usually stick around especially when I know I don’t have to get up early or do work. But I left, because I just wanted to be in bed.. (which is exactly what I am doing now)

Basically I am done vacationing. For me 3 weeks is more than enough vacation. For real. Unless of course I am travelling across some continent. But else.. its enough.

The question is how much vacation is enough vacation for you?

Winter

I have never been a big fan of winters. I don’t like the snow much, I don’t like to be under the blanket every time, I hate piling up layers before going out and above all I hate the super short days.

I get three weeks off as winter break and they become the most unproductive 3 weeks of my year. I don’t see a motivation to get out of my house, hence I sleep in till sunset and stay up till almost sunrise. I just stay in bed and sleep and eat. I don’t like being lazy but the cold just doesn’t help.

(No wonder summers are amazing)

I wish there was a way I knew how to be a little more active in winter. On top of the cold, there is the holiday season in winter which makes one eat like crazy.

How do people ever not be lazy or gain weight during this time. Beyond me. I have not figured that one out yet, and i doubt its happening anytime soon.

Philadelphia just had one of its worst snow storms ever last week. Everything came to a stand still. No cars,. No busses. Just snow and more snow on the ground and in the air.

How is that pretty? How do you function in such conditions? How do you manage to like winter in such situations?

And living on the east coast means  winter becomes the longest season of the year. It just never ends… SIGH

(I swear if I didn’t like it here so much I would have moved to the west)

All in all I wish winters did not make me so unproductive. All I do is gain weight and see the scale go up.

Dislike!

Summing up 2009 – Summer 2009

I finished writing about my first half. And now its the turn of the second half.

The second half was so distinctly different from the first one that I can literally put them as living two separate lives. It was about meeting new people, making new friends, opening up to certain facts, being comfortable and open to a change and travelling.

I have to give summer just one post because it was beyond amazing. I never wanted it to end, and when it did I knew I would miss it.

July 2009

The month started with me coming back to Philadelphia all strong, and all ready to never be sad. As soon as I came back I left for Virginia for work. Lived their for a week. Just worked and worked, and had a wonderful time.

One interesting event was having a stalker in a 5 star hotel. Trust me it is scary. A guy just started following me and showed up outside my hotel room. It was insane and SCARY. The good thing I left for Philly the day after. But scary none the less.

I still had a good time. Took some time to think. Met my friend. Met employees from different locations. It was good.

I made new friends and essentially had less emotional bursts. I had the biggest thing for Reid (I am so over it now), and I had a happy life at my house.

Get up at 7. Go to work. Be back by 6PM. hang out with my room mate’s mom (she was over), eat some good Indian food. Hang out with some friends. Go to bed by 1 am.

That was some crazy month with some crazy food and some amazing weather.

I started going out a lot. I never did that, I don’t even do that right now. I never saw clubs as much as I did in Summer.

I started spending time with people I just knew by name before. I did not vent, not even in my blog (apart from certain few outbursts)

August 2009

The month was EPIC.

I made some really good friends and we formed what’s called the devdas family. They all made me smile and just not think.

I was super busy and super occupied thanks to that family.

(I was fighting a lot with my best friend but somehow I knew it would be ok when I see her (it is ok now), and nothing seemed to bother me. )

I made travel plans. Decided where all I wanted to go. Places I wanted go and some more. .

I spent my days at work and weekends with some amazing people who just got my EQ down. It was about having fun and not thinking about the first 6 months. Some days I did think about them, but mostly August was amazing. My old friends started noticing the change in me. It was very obvious. I was just plain happy. Singing, dancing and not thinking. Life was perfect :)

August was actually when I saw the summer ending, for me it ended then even though the actual end came in September.

Summer 2009

Those were two months of pure fun and mood upliftments. I can’t even thank people enough for it. So many them made a difference.

I know some of them are reading this, and if they are, thank you so much. You all have no idea what you did.

Summing up 2009

This year was definitely eventful. Very very eventful. I can’t even try to sum it up in one post, so probably it will take me a few.

Not that all of you are interested in knowing my life in and out, but I would still like to write. We are almost in 2010 and like most people (at least I think so), I would like to go back and just see how my year was.

In short it was one of a kind. It was the most different one in college so far and everything in my life here was re defined. Everything.

January 2009

I came back from Germany and I was still looking for a permanent place to live. I did not feel at home here in Philly. It just was not the same. College seemed very different and I did write about that. I was still trying to cope up with coming back here and feeling the same like I did all 3 years before that.

February 2009

I started thinking more along the lines of friendships and how they were changing for the very first time in my life. My relationships with people were being re defined. It was kinds chaotic. I found solace in few people and torture in some. I thought about Where am I now.

March 2009

Winter term ended, coop began and so did a life of sleeping less and very less. I very clearly remember the end of March. For sometime then I actually thought I can get out of certain illusions and jealousies but oh well… it was not working that well. I was writing more and more than before and then I wrote about all those Complexities.

April 2009

Month one of coop, a different life, a different zone. This was truly the onset of a life that I desperately needed. I routined life. I went to work everyday no matter what was on my mind. Whatever happened at home did not impact my work life.

But it did not really start that well. I was the intern and was fought for. Everyone wanted to be the boss. Everyone told me what to do. It made me cry, because no matter what I did was not enough.

And I was introduced to the concept of sleeping less. Never before I had functioned on a sleep on 4-5 hours on a daily bless. I have not looked back since then. I hardly sleep even on classes and I think I am more productive. Sleep woes worked.

May 2009

May was a month of emotional trauma. All I did was think about stuff that I could have avoided. I was love struck and I did not know how to cope up with that. I was not in control and I did not know how to fix that.

I have always been in control and I was so restless and lost that all I did was blog. I saw a friend slipping away, I saw the love of my life not giving a shit and so happened a chain of events that made May a month not worth remembering.

(I still cant forget it though..sigh)

I thought about so many things. Forget but not forgive, Chances, Cheating, How I know, and so many more.  

Basically my EQ was all time high and I became incapable of hiding the fact.

June 2009

Exactly the middle of the year and exactly when things changed. Life changed. I changed.

June started well. Happy. Content. But 10 days into it I was done and over with. I had an emotional break down. I left everything. I left the States. I stopped working. I stopped eating. I stopped everything. I just behaved like a depressed, useless person. I am not proud of it, but it happens.

It was my birthday month to. I celebrated my birthday in India, saw a couple of friends after ages. Something was still missing. I did not enjoy anywhere, anytime.

I lost faith in friendships and love. I lost a lot. And someone did not even know. I realized how one can never understand, how much things hurt unless you go through them.

I spent the last 15 days in June crying and recovering. Changing. Trying to build those emotions. Not depending on friends. It was a sad phase.

July – December .. to be continued ….