I said it too soon

Last night I was talking about how I am not thinking much these days. May be I just jinxed myself, because right now I am thinking, if not a lot, then definitely enough to make me wish I wasn’t.

College has given me intertwined relationships. I have groups of friends, who would never be friends if I was not there to link them. Those separate groups share nothing in common but me and that’s what sometimes makes them more comfortable in being friends with each other. Most times I don’t care or mind it. I like getting those groups together and just hanging, but lately I have realized i should have been more careful with some of them.

I regret one situation the most which I wish I would have prevented before. Things turned out to be not at all like I wanted, or even I would have been comfortable with. Now, I don’t even have a right to change anything or question anything. I am just this outsider who is connected to one without wanting, and to the other because that person didn’t even do anything for me to not be friends.

This situation sucks at so many levels with the worst part being I have no say in it. Not anymore. It has existed for the past year now, but I just realized it’s impact some more few minutes back.

Sigh!

I so said it too soon.