Memories are weird

Today is Spring Jam in college. Most college students go to it, love it, enjoy like crazy.

I on the other hand do not even want to check it out. It is weird how I am so good at erasing bad memories, yet I can’t forget my last year’s spring jam. I never even tried to think about it before, and was actually planning to attend it this time without having any recollection about last year’s. But today suddenly, without any intentions, the memories came rushing back down to almost every moment of this night last year.

I am taking a cognitive psychology class where we are taught how memory is a strange thing. Sometimes it just keeps those things which we would never like to remember, and not those which we never want to forget.

I realize that right now how strange it is indeed. I remember the bad one so distinctively that I can not go to the same place, even though I know it’s going to be nothing like last year. I feel I just need to skip this day and go to tomorrow. Sleep through it. Not realize what’s going on. I know if I go there, I’ll recollect even more of what scares me. Those memories.

My friend just told me, “You are being stupid, how does it even matter what happened last year.” And she is probably right. But how do I tell my brain to stop being scared?

Memories. I wish I could erase some.