Reel to Real

There was a time when I used to mention people on my blog and not keep them anonymous. If you have ever read through my older posts (more than a year ago), you’ll see all my old friends mentioned somewhere or the other.

I don’t do that anymore. I don’t know why.

(oh wait I do know a little bit)

May be, I feel like they will not like being mentioned like that since anyone and everyone has access to this. Or may be I feel like, that ways my whole life will be out in public.

(Oh wait, it may be almost it)

Whatever the reason is, I still like to talk about them but not take names. Some of them read this. And some of them don’t. But I am sure, what I am going to talk about now, will totally tell them, that it’s them (if they read this).

There are so many movies made. So many shows done. And probably some character, somewhere, can be my friend.

  Barney from How I met your Mother. I have one in my life. He is not really like him. But definitely can be like him. He likes to stay away from emotions, drama, relationships. Everything he says somehow gets related to sex, but you got to say, that he is cool and absolutely non-judgmental. All that is missing is the ‘suit’ and a perfect week.

Samantha from Sex and the city. She is chill and outgoing. She is an amazing friend, yet not expressive about it. She cares, but does not like the drama. She knows her ways with the boys, and yet can be committed when wants to. She loves her girls, and can be boy with the boys. All that is good about Samantha is her. Sometimes misunderstood, she is ready to cut people slack most days.

She is Amrita Rao from Ishq Vishq. She believes in certain things and will never change her belief. She is simple. Refuses to change her self to look hot or sexy. She is caring. She is kind. She does not expect to be loved the way she loves. She is the perfect daughter, and to that one guy, the perfect friend.

 

I wonder if they read this, they will even figure out it’s them. This is how they are in my head, but may be they will disagree.

I can do more of these, but I should be studying right now.

So tell me if you figure out who’s who…

To err is human

The art of not going with the flow of emotions is not something that I have ever been able to practice. I usually follow my heart, chose to be blind, hope, and just wait for things to get better (as much as I despise the wait).

When I was younger I did not know how to analyze situations as well. I took things on the face value. I believed people won’t hurt me. I believed that I will get something if I really really wanted it. I believed what was being told to me was always the truth. I did not know how some moments can make you do things that you don’t want in the first place. I did not know that when people say things, they think they believe, but so many time they are just scared of a change.

Obviously I am older now. Not much older, but enough to know that people do things, say things, that seem right in the moment. They end up hurting people not because they wanted to, but because they were scared of doing the right thing, because they themselves never realized how to do it till too late.

Seldom are people bad. It’s just that there are very few who know what do when the moment has passed. How to fix things. How to deal with someone else’s emotions. Because after all, we are human. And to err is human.

(BTW that does not mean no one is bad, some people are just bad outright)

All that being said, I want to say I am glad I know all this. Obviously, I wish I could believe that there are exceptions to these situations and I may across them. But personally, I have not seen people doing otherwise with me. They have done the same thing. Said things in the moment. But all that never makes me think they meant to hurt me anymore. I just think its human.

And best of all, I have learned to back off. Back off from situations where I know my emotions may over ride my sensibility. And I don’t think I could have done it one year ago. I wish I believed in exceptions more, but may be it’s just too early right now.

It always feels good when you know that you won’t get hurt by friends or anyone else. It’s good to know that people make mistakes, just learn to cut slack or stop expecting them do the right thing.

It’s good to know that I can fix some things for myself before I get trapped in the moments or even worse… emotions.

Planning the last three months

It’s almost over. I have been talking about it a lot over the past few months, how I want to make special. Have endless memories. Reminisce a little and all that jazz. So now, it’s time that I come down to actually thinking about what I want to, and how I want to do.

So fellows, after a long long, very long time. I am writing my to do list here. Plans don’t always work,but my summer list from last year, did sort of work, so I thought I’ll try this one again.

So things I want to do now, since after that, it’s never going to be the same.

• Save money so that I can have money to travel over the long summer I get

      Travelling means going to Germany and Poland. Hopefully this time  I’ll make it happen

• Meet everyone I have met in college. Spend time with all those who are new in my life, but definitely got me here
• Make amends. Forget and forgive
• Stay out of boy trouble (this is very important for a successful term)
• Go out, have fun, every weekend, or even week day
• Plan more events on campus, attend even more of them
• Not think too much. Seriously. I do it a lot. Just go with the flow
• Plan the most epic graduation party
• Hope that I won’t make some mistakes (I usually do repeat some)

ok, this probably seems like an easy list. But trust me it’s not. Not thinking is a hard thing to achieve, but very important for a peaceful yet thrilling spring.

So since my mood is all uplifted right now, I’ll leave you with this song. This just makes me happy. It has something very soothing to it.

(For me that is)

Cynicism

Wikipedia defines this term as, “Cynicism (Greek: Kυνισμός) originally comprised the various philosophies of a group of ancient Greeks called the Cynics, founded by Antisthenes in about the 4th century BC. The Cynics rejected all conventions, whether of religion, manners, housing, dress, or decency, advocating the pursuit of virtue in a simple and unmaterialistic lifestyle.”

So now the question how much of does this definition is apt, in case a person is being categorized as cynical.

(Random early morning thoughts)

If you are religious, but still believe in the goal of achieving ultimate happiness. Can you still be Cynical?

If you do not believe that being upset by something or someone and still dealing with it, because there is a chance of achieving happiness. Is it cynical?

Is it Cynical if you believe in giving up on people who can upset you because the ultimate goal is present happiness?

Is it Cynical if you don’t see the good first but the worst?

Is it Cynical if you are materialistic but reject the conventions about love?

Is it Cynical if you base everything of one bad experience?

Well in my opinion. Not really. It’s more like a balancing act.

What do you think???

 

The grapevine

When I was younger, which means 4-5 years ago, I always used to think that if someone told someone what I asked them not to tell, they have broken my trust.

I have grown out of that. 

I can't help but find it funny that the grapevine is inevitable in friend circles. If you have ever seen FRIENDS or How I met your Mother or even Brothers and Sisters, you probably know what I mean.

Basically its the same setting. It's usually a group of 5-6 friends (It's weird how the number is always this) and everyone is close to everyone. Some more. Some less. One has feeling for one. There is one couple. There is the outcast. And there is one goofy. It's all there. It's always a mix of different people, who learn to love each other and be amazing friends.

And there is the grapevine. You always tell one person your secret and tell them not to tell anyone (even though you know it's way too much to ask), and within 24 hours all the others know. It happens every time, yet you tell every time thinking it won't happen this time.

And on top of that, the one who is the last one to know, gets upset. Because he or she got to know it out in the end. And you can't help but explain yourself, even though (oh wait!!), it was your secret in the first place.

It happens all the time. In all friend circles. And I just realized recently. Hats off to the creators of the above series, because honestly, they did nail the dynamics of a friend group down. If not completely, then a lot. 

Sometimes I feel, me and my friends actually live in a sitcom (Well they made me realize it). We have all the ingredients of making a show. We have a million stupid jokes, completely different personalities,a number suited for our group size, fights, quarrels, stupidity, affection. Everything. And most importantly, we have the grapevine, which everyone knows about, but still gets surprised about its power every once in a while.

What’s the right thing to do

There are many ways a situation can be interpreted in. We are asked to do the right thing. We are expected to not be unfair to or hurt people. But what if we don’t even know we are doing it? or what if we need to do it to protect our happiness?

Unless it’s about murdering someone (and other insane things like that), it is so hard to know what’s the right thing to do. You want to do what is best in the situation, but so many times, the best isn’t obvious.

What do you do…

When you have to chose between reporting a friend to your boss because he messed up an email?

When you have to say good bye to your parents and leave them alone because your future is miles and miles away from them?

When you have to decide between staying away from a friend because you have to hide those feelings you have or just be upset?

When you have to say no to your best friend because your boy friend want to see a movie?

When you have to chose between the guy who loves you and will keep you happy or the one who drives you insane but makes you ecstatic at the same time?

What’s the right thing to do?

Do we always know?

Let’s come back

Today is weirdly a calming day. I have not been this much at peace with myself as I am today. Nothing good happened to me, but  whatever did made it worthwhile.

There are always those people in your life you will always be close to. You can fight with them, not see them for as long as you can remember, you can chose to believe you can never be friends with them. But all it takes is one small talk to fix it all.

Those people make your home. They are the people who will always make you feel safe, even if you have 100 other friends to go to. They are your comfort. Your love. Your family. Your space. They are all you need.

People say what matters is the quality of time you spend with someone, not as much as quantity. That is true. The quality does matter. Certainly does. But the quantity can do wonders too. When you see it from where I am standing right now, I see four some years spent with those people who make my home. They make my comfort zone. They mostly made my happiness.

I remember most of days spent with them just sitting and talking. I think of college, and I think of them. They made staying here worthwhile. It’s not the same, certainly isn’t. But every day I wish it was. Some things can’t be fixed. Some friend I can never get back.

But for the ones who are there, I just want to say, I think it’s time we make it back. Because I know once we are done in 3 months, they’re isn’t going to be any time left. So may be, right about now, let’s just all come back and stay at home :)