What’s wrong in being Single

If a girl wants to be single for a while (by which I mean 2-3 years), what is wrong in that? Most of my guy friends keep on saying, “You need to date someone. Just be with someone. You have been single for too long.”

I don’t understand why I need to do that? I chose to be myself, and I actually love it. At least for now I do. I never stop myself from meeting new guys, or talking to them, but if I dont get attracted to anyone enough to get in a relationship with them, that is not my fault.

He: What’s wrong with that guy? He likes you

Me: But I dont

He: Why? Try dating him

Me: But I dont feel anything for him

He: TRY!!!

Me: Try and do what? Why the hell should I lead someone on

He: Girls!!!

It’s not about being a girl. It is just about choosing to be happy. And not to sound sad or anything, but after what I have seen some guys are capable of, or just being in love and getting hurt to the point which I did not even know existed, i don't really believe in love.

(I mean there is love, just not for me)

So when I do not believe in something, it is hard to pursue it. May be that will change (even though I do not want it to EVER), but for now I am singe and loving it :)

Some things about pain

When it hurts so much and you can't breathe, that's how you know you'll survive. Grief is with everyone, it just looks different on everyone... but pain, some pain, never goes away. You smile through it, you feel happy most days, but somewhere inside you know its there, it will always be there.

The best you can do, is live through it and survive. You are scared. And you don’t want to let people in. The very worst part of grief, all that pain, is that you can’t control it. So the best we can do is cry if we have to. Shed those tears. Because when its trapped inside, it will never leave you. It will come back every time.

But just like happiness, pain might not stay all the time. It might go away. Just accept it. Just accept it the way it is.

And if it does not heal even in those few months you gave your self. Give your self more time. Give some years. Even if it does not ever go away. You’ll know you fought. You’ll know you can’t be hurt anymore.

Credits: Grey’s Anatomy Season 6 Ep 2

Bye bye to Portland and Seattle

I had an amazing vacation. And that combined with some other reasons I just do not want to go back to Philly. I am 1.5 hours away from landing, and I just wish I did not have to go back there… at least for now.

West Coast is definitely a whole different world altogether. And I think north west is the most under rated region in America. Where else would you see a mountain peak on the left and down town Seattle on the right, creating the most blissful scenery? Seattle is made for someone like me. Being a technical person, companies such as Microsoft and Amazon just create opportunities for me there. The weather is ummmm not that great but I think I can manage. Varun lives three hours away, Gwen lives right there and I heard the dating scene is awesome there (I mean who doesn’t find that appealing)

I know at the end of a trip or being away for a while, I have always wanted to come back to Philly. But that has to do a lot with the people around me, and not the city on its own. I know I can create a Philly in Seattle if I want to, rather if I get to be with that many people.

Its high time, I start preparing myself to leave Philly. It’s not like I am going to be there forever. Portland is a little to quiet for me, but may be Seattle is it.

So now back to this plane ride. There is a kid sitting in the row in front of me, and he has managed to turn my computer off two times by just slipping his hand through the gap between the seats and making me re write this post twice

(yeah yeah.. I should save my drafts)

Now three days in Philly, and then I head to Tuscan AZ.  Some life people would say. Can I say the same though??

Anyhoo.. I fly so much, but somehow I never ever liked it as much especially when I cant sleep. This flight is 2 hours 39 minutes, which is nothing compared what I usually do, but for some reasons it seems 10 times longer….sigh

Technology binds me

So I have a phone with a data plan, hence 24/7 access to emails, facebook, twitter and so much more. Being connected like that is a blessing for me instead of a sin. I like to be on top of things and get back to people as soon as I can, being as much productive as I can. Basically I like to multi task.

(Does not imply I rock at it,,, but I do a good job)

The problem is I am on vacation right now, and I am still doing the same. School has started so I am a little paranoid about missing deadlines. I have a million people I talk to, and I will still reply to their texts as long as I have service and battery life. Basically my phone is my life, and people I vacation with get extremely amazed.

No I dont ignore them. I multi task.

I was up at the mountains on Sunday and I had no reception for 5 hours. I did not feel lost, it felt good for a while. But then after some more time, I needed it. I dont even remember a life without my phone now.

SIGH!

I know some people think I am a slave of technology, but I say, whats wrong in that? If that makes me happy and gets stuff done on time for me, I think it’s great.

I know it is a little annoying when I am texting while out with some people, but I do try to limit that as well. (At least I think so)

All in all, I love technology, I love to multi task, I love to talk to people all the bloody time, and all these things make me happy :)

P.S: Not that I am saying everyone should be like that!!!!!

Who knew Portland is Paradise

I am a very city person, so obviously all I have done in the States is seen big cities. I am in Portland right now, and the two reasons that got me here were my friend living here, and the 10 dollar roundtrip to fly to the west coast. I did not really think much about how the city was going to be.

Now that I am here, I love it. I cant imagine living here, but as a tourist I love this place. I went to Mount Hood yesterday and boated in Lost Lake. The 5 hour drive was just mesmerizing (apart from me getting sick while coming down the slope).

It is a lover’s paradise. I heard it somewhere “Portland is so romantic, that it can be Paris if you are with the one you love.” That is so true indeed. It is nature at it’s best. It totally reminded me of Europe, and all the places I have seen there.

Just sitting on the boat in the middle of the lake, sipping some India Chai, and looking around sitting next to that someone special, is what it is all about. I mean I was there with my friend, but I am sure he was thinking about his girl friend all that while..lol

I can’t put any pictures up right now, but I advice everyone to come here at least once. Right now I feel like my 7 hour plane ride was worth it.

Also, I went to a Casino for the first time and made 160 bucks (call it beginner’s luck). So I am all set for a wonderful time here in Portland. I am glad I came here.

More updates to come….

Officially the end of a fantabolous Summer

The summer for me officially ends on Friday. People are coming back, people are leaving, it’s all becoming normal (referring to how it’s always been). It has been an experience, this summer. So many things happened, but at the same time nothing happened.

I get done with my internship on Friday, and leave all the amazing co workers who made my summer worthwhile. I start school on Monday (well I am missing week one..lol), and most of all this so called NORMAL and ROUTINED life comes back.

Obviously I am more than happy to see some people. Seeing this one friend today made me jubilant. He has been such a good friend, that I never realized how much I missed him till I saw him today. But still I never wanted this summer to end, for fall to come (apart from the amazing weather). But its here.

There is one more week before I get pushed back into the grind. My last to-do on the summer list will be fulfilled next week when I go to Portland. I am really excited to go there and see my friend. Have not seen him in a year. That will finally do it. Mark the end of this summer.

May be I should just make a Senior year to-do list. It’s never gonna come back. 9 months is all I have, before this 5 year journey ends, before I step into the real world, before my friends chose their paths, and before I leave behind what I love the most.

(Yes.. I am getting a little senti.. 9 months is not long at all)

For now there is only one thing on the to do list.

Live it up. Have fun. Love life. Live it to the fullest. This time. This place. These friends. It’s never gonna come back.

Phone issues

I am not really a very materialistic person. If you ask me on my birthday what I want, I will not really have an answer for it.

I don't want clothes or shoes or gadgets as a present. I can do without these. But one thing I can absolutely not do without is my G1 aka my Google phone.

I am am t-mobile subscriber, so I own one of these instead of an IPhone. I love it. I absolutely do. Since I am one of those people who like to be in touch and respond asap to texts, calls, emails etc.. I just need it in my life. I cant imagine a life without it. And just an hour ago, it gave up on me. just died. Just like that.

I feel weird. I feel lost. I feel deprived. I do have an old Nokia that I am using right now. But its not the same. I have 7 days before I get my replacement. And I have no idea how in the world am I gonna live without it. (I am getting a replacement in 7 days but thats just too long)

Hopefully I will be able to not whine, and just live with it. My phone is like my life. I cant imagine anything without it. Music, games, texts, emails, facebook, twitter.. and so much more all in one. Everything gone ….. (No.. I am not overreacting)

I hope these days go by fast.

A big fat SIGH!